I write in a journal (yes, the old fashioned way with pen on paper) 6 days per week, jotting down whatever random thoughts scroll through my head each morning. For me the "real"writing is somehow therapeutic, allowing abstract stress to be more clearly defined, acknowledged and, if not dismissed, at least released as I push thoughts out of my head and onto paper. It's nothing I ever read again myself, and certainly wouldn't make much sense to anyone else.
So just once a week on Sunday I do a SparkPeople blog. I try to make the theme something I've reflected on throughout the week. Perhaps a thought jotted in my journal that I can flush out more thoroughly, something I saw or read during the week that set me to thinking, or a journaling "assignment" I've come across in The Writer's Diet. Although I am writing mainly for my own thought process, I usually find a theme that I think other people who are working on getting fit and healthy might be thinking about, too.
The problem this week is, it feels like the only thoughts I had were about getting through. I had several mornings where my feet hit the ground almost at the same time as my alarm went off. Even in sleep, I knew I had so much on my to do list for the day that I needed to fully use every waking moment. And my week was so scheduled that I had no time to stop and be thoughtful. A lot of it was enjoyable, and I do try to "be in the moment" rather than constantly focusing on what I have to do next. But still, it is wonderful to have some down time, and this week I just didn't.
Lately I have made Sundays my guaranteed down time. I've learned that it is totally worth it to squeeze in some extra exercise sessions a few times during the week, to keep up on laundry in the evenings, and to do a small cleaning project every day so that on Sundays I can have the day "off". But my car didn't cooperate this week. After working 8am to 1am Saturday (and beginning of Sunday) in the high school kitchen prepping and serving food at a show choir event, I trekked out to my car exhausted and ready to collapse into bed only to discover that my car wouldn't start. Argh! It was not a big disaster because my son was leaving at the same time and I just caught a ride home with him. But it completely ruined my "down" day!
I slept in because it was not even possible to wake up early. But I opened my eyes to my black lab sitting over at me, staring back down at me as my eyes opened. I'm sure that she telepathically said, "why are you still in bed when you need to figure out what's wrong with your car and deal with it?" My favorite part of Sunday is the couple of minutes after I open my eyes, when I stare up at the bedroom ceiling and think about what I'd like to do for the day. I might dream of dozing back to sleep for a bit, reading a book for hours, getting out for a long walk...whatever...often I don't actually do what I dream of doing because practical items kick in and I end up getting at least SOME things done, but I just love the moment or two while I lay there and contemplate that whether or not I really DO nothing productive all day, at least I COULD.
But not today. And so this blog is not about some thoughtful moments I had during the week, because I just didn't have any. Instead it's just a bit of satisfaction that the week did get done. All the to dos (at least the important ones) got crossed off, and I am ready to start the cycle again. Going to be another busy one, and I expect it isn't going to be a fun kind of busy, but the irritating and frustrating kind of busy. A few staff people on vacation this week and been having a lot of call-ins due to illness, so i will spend much of my time coordinating staff to cover things. (Which is not frustrating if everyone pitches in and cooperates to get the job done, but I find there's something about February that does not inspire a spirit of cooperation. Has anyone else noticed that February, despite being International Friendship Month and having Valentine's Day to promote love, is an overly grouchy month for most people? That people are generally grumpy from after the New Year holiday until spring?) And most of my time NOT getting my own work done, which probably will add some extra hours of catching up.
So my goal for the coming week is to get through it. And to make it through as much of each day as I can with a smile on my face. Usually I'm pretty successful at that when I expect ahead of time that a crazy week is coming. It's when I truly think I'm going to have a productive day and then it gets disrupted, especially if it's over something trivial, that I get a bit out of sorts. So I think I can do it! I will get through whatever comes my way and will NOT join the ranks of the cranky February folks!
Wish me luck! (And apologies for not having a witty, insightful, or even thoughtful, blog for the week.) But get used to it, because you might get the same next week!