Sunday, February 17, 2013
Okay, so I will warn you now that this is a bit of a downer blog. I'm feeling just down and out of it. And I am well aware this is a blog I probably shouldn't be writing as team leader in the BLC. But I'm human. I have issues and I need help. I need support, too. Honestly, I'm at the point where I really want to give up on trying to lose weight and be healthy. Every time I try, I fail. My motivational things that I do don't work. I've told you all about the collages that I have on my walls and the picture of the wedding dress I want on my fridge, and none of it stops me from the bad things that I do. I still graze in the fridge, I still eat food I shouldn't be eating, I over eat on the things that I should be eating, I skip workouts, granted this week was excused due to illness. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I keep trying and I keep hitting my head against a brick wall. So I just don't know anymore. I'm not giving up yet, but I am sorely tempted to. I'm almost back up to the 280s and that scares and pisses me off to no end. I used to be 239 and here I am back almost to where I first started. What is my problem? I just don't get it!
One of the challenges this week for the BLC was to write two blogs about 10 things I like about myself. I skipped this challenge because there's not a lot I like about me right now. I don't try like I'm supposed to. I don't make progress. Pretty much the only thing I like about me is my eyes because they're unique. There's one. I guess one other is the fact that I'm still going even though I'm down and kind of out. So I have two out of 10. Better than zero, I guess.
Well, I guess on to my halfway numbers to show my "progress". Overall, I lost 1.25 inches on my body in the last 4 weeks. And I've gained 2.8 pounds. Well, here they are. Weight: 279.2 (+2.8) Waist: 46 (-.5) Hips: 50.5 (-.5) Neck: 15 (0) Chest: 44 (0) Thigh: 30 (-.25) Calf: 19.5 (+.5) Forearm: 11.5 (-.5) Upper Arm: 17 (0) BMI: 48 (+.4) Body Fat: 58.4% (-.9%)
There we have it. I think that's it for this blog. Except for the fact that my dog is losing weight and doing well. She's doing better than me. I wish I could lose weight like her. Well, if I put the fork down once in a while I might. Anyway. Have a good week, everyone. I wish you all the best of luck. www.youtube.com/watch?v=