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As I Look Back I Embrace...

Sunday, February 17, 2013


...The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled

I read something given to me just the other day that read:

"Serenity is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it."

As I quickly approach my one year anniversary, I take this quote very seriously. SERENITY is a word I have concentrated on for many months now. My sobriety and lifestyle change came with a very emotional start. I said good bye to not only the alcohol, but to a lifestyle that was slowly killing me. I allowed stress and emotions to drive me directly to that bottle of deep dark red liquid of deeper hell! Yes, deeper! For when that bottle ended, I had fallen further into that hole of a very dark, temporarily forgotten, damaging and emotional conflict which persisted below the level of consciousness. At the time it may have discolored my world, my personality, and altered my concept of perception completely. But it also discolored my personality and altered my life for the worse. This past year I have had to learn how to cope with the stress and the conflicts that I encounter in a different way. I chose exercise, healthy eating, lots of water, and writing. I encountered so many emotional things along this journey of mine, but the toughest of all challenges was the SERENITY! I did not completely understand that word until only a couple of weeks ago. I have learned that its not the conflict that I need to overcome, yet the way I choose to except and react to it...and I choose SERENITY.
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    I have two Serenity Prayer bracelets that I wear proudly and two Serenity Prayer placques that I proudly display in my home. This prayer is my guideline for life. I have koi named Serenity Bling ( he is absolutely beautiful ....a rich shimmery yellow), Sobriety Rocks ( an incredible white shimmery koi), Wisdom, Courage, Amazing Joy, Mountain Mania (named after a 5k), and many other named koi that bring tremendous joy to me. You are right in that Serenity comes changing the way you approach problems and life in general. The bottle does not bring serenity, it brings destruction. My first anniversary had a few interesting moments. Nearing the date made me reflect on my sobriety and I reached inside myself to understand what had actually happened. With the help of God, I learn daily how to cope with trials and how to find utter joy in living. Sobriety is a true blessing from God.

    I am 513 days sober. In this time period I have had to change my circle of friends. This can be difficult to do, but when I realized their lives were about drinking and their desire to make me feel like a white buffalo in a herd of brown buffalo...adios to them. Serenity comes from having the confidence to know this is what is best for me. I, unfortunately, am still living with an alcoholic husband, but there is support for this situation. I recommend AA books for any recovering alcoholic. Ridding oneself of codependence also brings Serenity and enhances greatly a sober lifestyle. Blessings to you and congrats on your Soberversary in the near future! emoticon
    1489 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/23/2013 5:40:14 AM
    Good thoughts! What you've written resonates with me, too. So much of life is about how we choose to handle what comes our way.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1491 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/20/2013 4:53:24 PM
    I liked this.... I remember through some of the early months I was having a hard time I used the serenity prayer over and over again. i still use it every now and then
    1494 days ago
  • DEE107
    thanks for sharing
    1494 days ago
    emoticon emoticon it sounds as though you are finding the real you! I can only imagine how difficult it was for you and your efforts to finding the real in commended! Keep up the good job and the faith of knowing each day your becoming you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon have a great week. Judy
    1495 days ago
    Thanks for sharing
    1495 days ago
    Well it sounds like you have come along way. I commend you on your efforts and find your story inspirational.Keep up the good work.
    1495 days ago
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