Sunday, February 17, 2013
I did it, I did complete raw fruits and veggies for an entire 2 weeks. I lost 7.7 pounds and im just getting to write about it.. pretty terrible. Im very proud, but im sure i gained some of it back now, not sure why I just feel like it, though It was the time of month right when I was done, so that could explain it.
I worked out every single day exept once in the 2 weeks. I go back to working out tomorrow, and hopefully back to raw fruits and veggies too. At least mostly. I did start eating oatmeal in the morning with a sliced banana and two strawberries with some cinnamon. First time I ever tried it, and it isnt bad.
Im having a hard time. What is frustrating is I know Im having a hard time. I know I have chronic depression and anxiety attacks. I know I used to take medication in the United States, but in Jordan I dont. Depression is still a taboo subject here. You tell someone your going to therapy and they think your crazy. I get moments where I cant stop shaking uncontrollably and feeling as though I cant breath and need an out.. I start to cry uncontrollably and its mmiserable. I can sometimes feel it coming, and its like my body prepares. This weekend was awful and my mind feels as though its been at war for years. I am emotionally exhausted.
Anyway, this isnt a site about my depression, its about weightloss and trying to get healthy. i started eating normal again, but healthier, though I have had a few unhealthy things, but I refuse to dwell on it. I feel like crap. I can feel the discomfort and nastiness and I dont want to feel this way. Im honestly thinking of going back to raw at least most of the time. Im thinking oatmeal is good for me in the morning, but trying to stick to not eating much bread because I think it makes me feel a little sick. Maybe its the gluten, but then I could be making that up because it seems to be a thing lately!
Im sorry this is a little depressing. Ive been meaning to write a blog for a while, and I just get into phases where I cant seem to be able to do anything at all but lay in my bed. Ill dig myself out of this eventually.