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    MADYZ360   10,112
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7.7 pounds down

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I did it, I did complete raw fruits and veggies for an entire 2 weeks. I lost 7.7 pounds and im just getting to write about it.. pretty terrible. Im very proud, but im sure i gained some of it back now, not sure why I just feel like it, though It was the time of month right when I was done, so that could explain it.

I worked out every single day exept once in the 2 weeks. I go back to working out tomorrow, and hopefully back to raw fruits and veggies too. At least mostly. I did start eating oatmeal in the morning with a sliced banana and two strawberries with some cinnamon. First time I ever tried it, and it isnt bad.

Im having a hard time. What is frustrating is I know Im having a hard time. I know I have chronic depression and anxiety attacks. I know I used to take medication in the United States, but in Jordan I dont. Depression is still a taboo subject here. You tell someone your going to therapy and they think your crazy. I get moments where I cant stop shaking uncontrollably and feeling as though I cant breath and need an out.. I start to cry uncontrollably and its mmiserable. I can sometimes feel it coming, and its like my body prepares. This weekend was awful and my mind feels as though its been at war for years. I am emotionally exhausted.

Anyway, this isnt a site about my depression, its about weightloss and trying to get healthy. i started eating normal again, but healthier, though I have had a few unhealthy things, but I refuse to dwell on it. I feel like crap. I can feel the discomfort and nastiness and I dont want to feel this way. Im honestly thinking of going back to raw at least most of the time. Im thinking oatmeal is good for me in the morning, but trying to stick to not eating much bread because I think it makes me feel a little sick. Maybe its the gluten, but then I could be making that up because it seems to be a thing lately!

Im sorry this is a little depressing. Ive been meaning to write a blog for a while, and I just get into phases where I cant seem to be able to do anything at all but lay in my bed. Ill dig myself out of this eventually.
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NUTKINNB 2/17/2013 12:19PM

    Hey Mady,
Great work on the consistency of your workouts & eating healthy! It took me years to get into oatmeal, but I definitely find it good for breakfast now. :)
That sucks that mental health issues are so taboo in Jordan. Are there still psychologists & psychiatrists around? I can't imagine how draining and sometimes frustrating it might be to deal with serious depression and anxiety, especially if you can feel it coming on but can't stop it. If you feel better eating certain types of food, I would try to stick with it, but if there's any way to get some medication, I think you should consider that too since it's causing physical symptoms.

And you can most definitely blog about anything and we'll be here for you. Weight loss usually isn't just about the losing aspect. A lot of us have other things that tie into it. *hugs*

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MIDNIGHTER1 2/17/2013 9:26AM

    emoticon on emoticon going emoticon That is great. Let address the important things first. Depression does not mean you are crazy and people who use their heads will know so. If you feel like you need your meds,then by all means get them,damn what others think,you are taking care of you,bottom line.
Oatmeal is naturally glutten-free,except that most manufacturers make it not so with the things they add to it. Here are a small list of a few glutten free ones,GF Harvest,Bob's Red Mill,Montana gluten -free,(duh!)Holly's Oatmeal, just to name a few.
Continueing with the raw veggies is a good thing.Don't view it as a temporary diet,but as something that is helpful and nutrient rich things that you need on a daily basis.
This is not depressing,but great. You are working hard and eating right. This site is not only about weight loss. It is about how you feel,your daily life if you feel inclined to share it. Don't feel that you always have to be positive or post about weight.
I am happy with your efforts,keep it up. emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/17/2013 9:28:17 AM

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BLUENOSE63 2/17/2013 7:44AM

  Oh I would go to the American Consulate and tell them you need a doctor for your depression as it needs to be taken care of asap......if you have physical symptoms like you are describing you do need to see a doctor most definitely.

As I have been there, done that.....I get what you are going through

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BLUENOSE63 2/17/2013 7:42AM

  With your history, stay away from sugars most definitely and caffine....I found that positive visualization when I am down works for me.....

Great job on losing the weight.....

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