Sunday, February 17, 2013
This has been the week from hell. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong and I find myself questioning every decision I have made over the last few months.
For starters I have had a very sick child on my hands this past week. That alone is enough to drive a mommy crazy. I missed two vital class days in my Spanish class and one of them happened to be the first exam in that class. This was all due to a flat tire incident in the middle of the week that cost me nearly $300 that I didn't have to spend. Now after talking to my husband I found out that we may not have enough money to pay our rent and our bills b/c the income tax return(which is usually my play money) is so small this year that it won't cover everything. Neither one of us work b/c we are both trying to focus on finishing our degrees. I know one of us needs to work but not both of us b/c then we would be spending more money on child care then would be worth it. I am questioning my decision not to work now even though with my full load this semester I barely have time to get all my schoolwork finished.
I changed my major at the end of last semester b/c I knew for a fact that I couldn't pass 2 math classes that were required plus I didn't know if I could pass the test in order to get into the teacher education program. Now I find myself questioning that decision b/c I want to find a decent paying job when I graduate but with a degree in English I don't know if that is feasible. I'm considering changing to Human Resources but then I will spend another 2 1/2 to 3 years in school and by that time I will be in my early 30s with no solid job experience that would be applicable in that field.Darn my bad decisions in my early 20s! Now it's biting me in the butt big time. I went shopping with a friend of mind today thinking that would help and it did...temporarily. I left feeling more depressed than when we started b/c I couldn't afford to buy some of the things that I really wanted. Money can't buy happiness I know but it sure would help. Maybe this dream of having a college degree, a nice home and family is just a pipe dream. I have my medical assistant education but without any experience outside of my internship I have a hard time finding a job in that field either. Oh I am so confused and irritated. This in turn makes me feel stressed out and unmotivated and wanting to give up and just accept mediocrity.