I've been toying with the idea of returning to SparkPeople, but, honestly, the reason I'm doing it at this very moment is because I'm procrastinating a freelance design project.
I have a client who hosts a bodybuilding competition, and I guess looking at pictures of all these really fit people has finally broken me down.
Yes, I've been gone for over a year.
But I have a good reason.
This is Clare. She's 4 months old today. I was newly pregnant with her when I completed the Disney Princess Half-Marathon last February.
I have to pause here and pat myself on the back for a few things. I continued running up until 7 months. I continued tracking my food. I gained only 20 pounds while pregnant with Clare (versus the 50 I gained with Jeffrey). A week after her birth, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm very, very proud of this.
I am not, however, particularly proud of myself since then. I've let the whole "I'm breastfeeding" thing go to my head.... or my stomach, rather. My portions are completely out of control. I feel hungry ALL. THE. TIME.
Part of this is the raging metabolism breastfeeding creates. Part of it is exhaustion. I use food as a substitute for the sleep I'm not getting. But most of it is willful, unabashed "I want this, dangit, and so I shall have it!"
I've been deleting Spark emails for months and feeling shame every single time. I knew I needed to come back, but mentally I wasn't ready. I'm still not 100% committed, and I have a list of excuses I will probably try to fall back on, but something needs to change. I don't want to get up where I was when I started back in 2010.
I'm going to try some baby steps and allow the motivation to build slowly. That's the Spark way, after all.
Tracking: EVERY DAY, within my target AT LEAST 4 days a week.
Freggies: AT LEAST 4 servings of fruits or vegetables EVERY DAY.
Water: 64oz of water EVERY DAY.
Exercise: 10 minutes, EVERY DAY.
I'll report back within 2 weeks.