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    CANDOK1260   43,702
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jokes goals for week of Sunday, Feb 17- Saturday Feb 23


Saturday, February 16, 2013

goals for week of Sunday, Feb 17- Saturday Feb 23
A good friend suggest I come up with a goals and reward system so this is it.
GOALS


1. complete my food and exercise diary on my fitness pal
2. balance my food and exercise diary on my fitness pal
3. Drink between 10-12 cups of water everyday
4. NO stress eating or binging
5. Trying to stay positive for a day
6. Do Coach Kristieís Workout
7. Do a morning cardio workout
8. Do a evening cardio workout or go to church
9. Do something fun on Thursday evening
10. Lose at least 1 pound
11. Blog

REWARD SYSTEM
Point for each goals met



66 -55 Goals met-spend a hour of me time and donít feel guilty
55-44 goals met-buy a new book
44-33goal met get to buy handful of dice on dice with buddy on iphone
A bet made at the local bar
A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."

The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"

The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
The Elevator


An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather heavy, not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman stepped out. The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother".

What causes people to have arthritis?
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
2WHEELEDSHARON 2/17/2013 10:11PM

    You can do it!

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FITKAT62 2/17/2013 9:44PM

    emoticon

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MELAMA210 2/17/2013 8:41AM

    Great goals!

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ROARINGBEAST 2/17/2013 7:26AM

    great goals!!!!

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JUSTLLAMA 2/17/2013 3:07AM

    Great goals! And I love the reward system - what a fabulous idea!

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JOYOUS1917 2/16/2013 11:00PM

    You need to give yourself more rewards for fewer points. I reward myself for even TTHINKING of doing the right thing! emoticon

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ELSCO55 2/16/2013 10:49PM

    Good luck on your goals and rewards.

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UMBILICAL 2/16/2013 10:46PM

  Good Goals

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