There are food commandments I must obey. These are not helpful hints. They are mandates.
1. Do not leave home hungry.
2. Entertain no thoughts of oral gratification while behind the wheel.
3. No eating in a vehicle. Period.
4. If you do not want to consume it, do not bring it home.
I frequently must put the McPedal to the McMetal, singing Ave Maria at the top of my lungs all the way until I have safely traversed the evil world of commerce.
I am not allowed to leave the house of a morning until I have consumed .75 cups of oatmeal (dry - that is 1.5 cups cooked) nuked for 3.8 minutes with 7 crumbled walnut halves, a shake of salt and a bold splash of water, finally amended with 1.5 tbs chilled apple butter + .5 cup plain soy milk. This is the one true breakfast. It is the only pre-11AM repast capable of getting me safely past the sleazy slick sirens of EggMcMuffinSausageBiscuitHashR
While living in New York, I experienced a rebirth - six years of slow-food sanity and glowing health that carried me through 7 additional years in Tennessee. The life-denying foul n' fast food-substitutes held no sway over me - why, I scoffed in their direction generally! It was inconceivable that such manky mucilaginous morsels would ever again make it past my rose-tinted alabaster lips.
I am now deeply and profoundly
ashamed of my recidivism, of having sunk so low, entertaining the lust for lard that leads one to the portals of Popeye, Taco Bell, and Micky D. But the truth is undeniable. I have the draped flesh and clogged arteries to prove it. (And this abbreviation of life does not stop with food.. I have even found myself using the occasional emoticon. If this continues, [oh the slippery slope] I will eventually... lol.)
There is yet a Spark of hope. Once again my love of life, literature, and my self appears to be carrying me beyond the grasping claws of "flat-line chic" and the Heart Attack Grills of this world.
Today I know that I was the Marlboro Man's puppet on a string for far too long to give any more air time to that line of excrement... but don't forget - instant oral gratification is market driven, insidious, relentless. It will not step aside lightly. Tobacco, cheese doodles, aged scotch, texting - pick your poison... pick several. Hmmm. It is very easy to forget what you know, so beware of "easy". Make every day today and when the sun comes up, keep your eyes on the prize.
Please - let my weak moments and bare-naked backsliding happen in bed while I'm reading. Fast food franchise debils - get thee behind me. If curse the night I must, may it be because I gorged on carrot sticks, or overindulged with 4 extra almonds on my salad.
I promise never again to underestimate the venal power of convenience. Again. Scout's honor.