Saturday, February 16, 2013
So the past two months have been a bingeing downward spiral for me. I have gained 30 pounds and while some of that was in the boobs which I didn't mind, the rest does bother me. The jeans that I was almost ready to get rid of for a smaller size are now too small to wear. All in all not a great feeling.
BUT! As of yesterday I have started back to my calorie counting. My exercise has diminished some but never went away and I am keeping on track with that, and going to get back to Sunday morning yoga which I have missed. I am confident that I can start the weightloss process again with equal success. In the first year or so I lost 127 lbs. Then I gained back 30. I now have about 65 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight which is only a bit more than half of what I lost the first time around. I can do this. I will do this. I have great support and all the cookies in the world are not worth more than getting back to how healthy and fit I felt 30 pounds ago. If I don't break 200 I can deal with that as long as I feel fit.
I think I felt worse now 'on the way up' than I did at this weight on the way down. I could feel by body deteriorating and I was unhappy not getting the nutrients I needed. My body appreciates when I treat it well.
I am scared for when I hit maintainence. I don't want to pile on the pounds like I did this time, but I don't want to be counting calories forever either. I think I can find a balance. If I eat the healthy food that I need I don't really have a lot of room left for junk. I just need to eat the healthy stuff first, easier said than done. I am worried about getting to my goal, but for now the weightloss process, that I know how to do and I know I can do. In the fall or winter when I get to my goal weight, then I will worry about maintaining it. For now I need to focus on getting there.