Saturday, February 16, 2013
I have come to a realization that I need to unload things about my whole life, I have been a member of Spark People for five years, learned alot, fought cancer
but my weight has increased. I started here at 148, my weight has gone up
Unfortunately it has not sticked, I now weigh 155 and have been stuck here forever, it creeped up and won't go down. I exercise alot, last 3 days started adding a fitness club weight routine
in addition to my home workouts on my elliptical trainer
and my stationary bike.
The true problem is my emotional eating, I have not been able to
I started digging deep, I remember as a kid we would go to stores in the neighborhood, I would buy a few packs of Reese's peanut butter cups
and eat them all. I got it
my eating disorder started in childhood, it has been ingrained in me for almost my whole life. I remember being on a diet almost all the time starting at age 12. It is time to get it all out, my stomach is large, heavy, uncomfortable, it hangs off me, it carries the weight of the garbage that I have put into my mouth trying to take away what is wearing me down, only to find it has knocked me to the ground. I must begin anew today. I promise myself to release all that has been dragging me down and get rid of the chocolate and cookie crumbs on my bedsheets.
Inga, that's what I tell myself!
more entries to come.
and going strong!