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LADYVOLSFAN1954
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 146,709
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Love yourself at each stage of your journey

Saturday, February 16, 2013

We are all on a journey to eat healthy, be more fit and lose weight. We love to see the scale go down down down.
When you have a lot of weight to lose. I have to lose over 120 pounds to be in the healthy range, so far I've lost 70 of it. It's these last 50 pounds that are getting me. I will succeed though.
I know for the longest time I kept seeing myself as that really fat chick at 278 pounds. Even after I lost 60 pounds I still saw her when I looked in the mirror. I hated myself. I have to admit when I looked at some others on Spark and saw how good they looked I got jealous and mad at myself because I wasn't doing as well. Finally, this little voice in my head - probably would have smacked me if it had been possible - said "you're doing great. Look at yourself, you're not at 278 pounds you're at 218 (which was when I was having all these problems) and so much smaller." Finally after 3 weeks, I started seeing the "new" me. Took me awhile but I got there. Granted there are times when that old me shows up in the mirror but I know what I look like now.
I still wish I didn't have the bat wing arms, horrible chin, spare tire around the middle and the little pot belly (heck it's shrank alot though). Working on it all though.
What I love about me is - I discovered that I lost 5 inches off my neck - can you believe it? I didn't think that was possible - no wonder I notice my gobble gobble chin! My boobs shrank - they were the first to go but I'm ok with that too. I wear a size 18 pants and am getting into Extra Large women's tops. I haven't been this size since the late 1970s.
The funny thing is I feel so much better than I did back then. I didn't exercise back then either except for dancing at the clubs once a week. I sat in the office in my cubicle doing my job and went home or partied after work.
What have I done different? No partying any more for one. Seriously though, last year I had more fun and did things I wouldn't have dreamed of doing back after I graduated high school (1972) and in my 20s & 30s. Seriously, my brother and I went hiking on the Appalachian Trail - serious fun I might add! Granted we didn't go a long way since it was my first time and I was unsure of myself. The important thing was it was a challenge and I did better than I thought I would. Then, I did my first 5 mile hike (round trip) and boy oh boy was that ever a challenge! It was rough! My asthma reared it's ugly head big time. My blood sugar bottomed out. I fell but got back up more determined than ever to finish that hike on my own two feet. Thankfully I didn't have to be rescued - they were gearing up to come search for us because other hikers had told them to keep an eye out and it was dark by the time we got back to the parking lot. The ranger told me I should never have done the hike because of my medical problems. But you what? I'd do it again because I know I can do it. That hike gave me confidence to challenge myself and accept what limitations I had. I began to see myself in a different light.
Now I'm not saying you should do something like that but you have to think about things differently at each stage of your journey. Remember all that you have accomplished. Don't judge yourself by comparing yourself to others. Each one of us is a unique individual. Our histories are all different but we're here for basically the same reasons: get healthy, lose some weight. We all have different styles to how we're going to accomplish our goals which is fantastic because you may have different problems than me.
I have physical limitations that prevent me from doing anything at all requiring me to be on the floor. I've had them beginning in 1983. I've finally learned to accept them this year. They are a part of my life that I have to accept and learn to live with. It never really bothered me until this year. This year I tried to do some things and discovered I couldn't do them even though I had lost 70 pounds. In fact it was worse! That made me cry! Then that little voice in my head told me "accept what you can and cannot do, don't let it rule your life". Okay, I'm still working on it and it bothers me but not as bad because I now concentrate on what I can do again.
Don't focus on what is wrong, what you can't do, what you haven't done yet. Focus on what you have accomplished, no matter how small you think it is. It is important. Focus on those non-scale victories: the fact that your clothes are getting looser on you - smaller sizes are even a bigger boost; inches lost; a little more pep in your step. There are so many things you do and will notice so don't be a slave to a number on a scale.
Love yourself! I do - I love all my wonderful Spark friends and those I don't know yet. Why? Because you are all fantastic. I learn something from everyone. We can help each other. Sending you all love and hugs,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v PANDORA2244
    Thank you so much for this post! I needed to hear this today as I slipped up yesterday. It was my first slip up this time around. I felt defeated this morning and had an instinctive feeling like I was going to give up. Then I remembered my list on my blog (go see it if you want!) of 33 things that have changed for me in 33 days. They are all pretty much non-scale victories. One bad day can't take all of those away (And actually it was one bad meal, not whole day to put it in perspective!). Your post helped me with this as well. Thank you!
    1223 days ago
  • v PATTYR81
    I needed to read your message today.

    THANKS!
    Patty
    1223 days ago
  • v MOONBIRD
    You are so right! It's so hard not to compare ourselves to others. I know I find myself doing it sometimes. But, everyone is different, and their journey is different. I think you look awesome, by the way! That hike sounds wonderful. My husband and I hiked to a waterfall a couple years ago and it was hard for me, but now I bet I could do it much easier, so I am excited to go back and try some day soon!
    1223 days ago
  • v SPARKFRAN514
    emoticon emoticon thanks for reminding us we important I think we sometimes forget this as we take this journey we zero in on the weight loss and and numbers on the scale and miss the fact we are more important than the numbers on the scales. emoticon emoticon
    1224 days ago
  • v MSLZZY
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1224 days ago
  • v GARDENSFORLIFE
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1225 days ago
  • v TIBI183
    Loved your post. You are doing so great and we all have days sometimes even weeks in which we struggle. It is all good as long as we don't quit.
    emoticon emoticon
    1225 days ago
  • v JEANINNEWCASTLE
    emoticon and emoticon to you too. You're doing great!
    1225 days ago
  • v SUSANELAINE1956
    Great message. Good luck to you. emoticon
    1225 days ago
  • v DANCINCAJUN1
    WOW loved this post ..... Roc emoticon
    1225 days ago
  • v SUMTHINGSPECIAL
    Loved your post. YOU WILL SUCCEED because of your positive attitude - it's when we only look at what we haven't achieved yet that we start to fall into old patterns. I'm proud of you. You are an inspiration!

    Sumay
    1225 days ago
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