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Dear Fat Girl Letter

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Saturday, February 16, 2013

Dear Fat Girl At The Gym,

Yes, it's me, the skinny bit... uh, girl on the cardio machine next to you. I see you glancing over at me and I know what you're thinking.

How could I possibly know what you're thinking? Because I haven't always been the skinny girl at the gym. I was in your shoes when I started.

Evidence? No, there's not much evidence, other than my clothes that have gotten too big. There are definitely no photos, because I had become the floating head in them. Hiding behind people, chairs, tables, anything really. So you pretty much have to take my word for it that I was heavy. Unless you want a doctor's note? One that says my BMI was in the overweight category, one that says how many times I was advised to lose weight, would that help?

My cutesy matching outfit? It came together by accident, it really did. I got the shirt as a gift. I found the matching pants months later at a discount store. I'm surprised the colors match since I've washed the shirt WAY more times than the pants.

Back when I first started working out I wore pretty much what you have on: an old t-shirt and sweat pants. Just so you know, it's the starters workout uniform. Once you make working out a habit, you'll find yourself asking for workout clothes for birthday and Christmas gifts. Your real friends will get what you ask for. Be wary of the ones who don't. Don't worry too much about building a workout wardrobe right now, once you start to see the numbers on the scale move down you'll be motivated to try on actual workout clothes. They're the main reason why you don't see much sweat on me, the moisture wicking fabric is awesome that way. Trust me, I'm sweating, too.

I wish you would stop glancing over and just start a conversation with me already. I'm not stuck up at all. I could be your biggest cheerleader. I'm full of real advice, things that really work, only if you work them. (Have you heard of SparkPeople?) I'm not going to lie and tell you it's easy, it's not. Seeing you at the gym regularly let's me know you're not afraid of hard work.

I hope we talk soon. Whenever you're ready. I'll be on the machine next to you.

A former fat girl,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1818 days ago
    Great post. But I think you should go talk to her! Don't talk to her about her weight or her work out though. Not yet. Just say "Hi" and chat about something banal. Then little by little you can give her motivation. Tell her about this great place. She needs to not be discouraged. That's actually the easiest part: to get discouraged and quit!

    Thanks for the post!
    1834 days ago
    1849 days ago
    1851 days ago
    Nice one! I liked that bit about starter's outfit. I remember when I first started going to the gym, I wore old t-shirts too, now I only wear workout clothing, lol!
    1854 days ago
    Thank you for the post I am a fat girl and I intend not to be one forever but your post made me feel better. Again thanks.
    1854 days ago
    Nice post.
    1855 days ago
    Dee, that is such a sweet letter! I wish I was that gal! I would talk to you, knowing that you are a former fat girl. I am a still a fat girl and would like to know the key to getting STARTED at 73! Calories always seem to be in but the movement is just not on the chart. I love that you come by my blogs! Thanks.
    1855 days ago
    Love! I shared your blog!! I hope you do not mind! It's sooooo true!
    1855 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/23/2013 9:06:55 AM
    I have to admit, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday there is a girl at this gym that always seems to hop on a treadmill the same time I'm pounding away on the elliptical. I glance at her in between watching the movie that's on. I see her cute outfit, I remind myself that I want to look like her. But I would never talk to her.

    I even remind myself that maybe, just maybe she was a fat girl at the gym once. But there's too many skinny bit...girls at the gym to make me EVER approach one first.

    If you want to inspire, maybe look over and smile? Say hi first. Many of us ladies have body issues, and with a society constantly enforcing their vision of 'healthy', there's no way many big girls are going to risk being cut down by a skinny pretty girl. We're just too afraid. I would be so relieved to know that there's kindred spirits out there. We all know in our minds that it's possible, but the more kind faces there are at the gym, the more likely a person will go. =)
    1856 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/22/2013 11:33:58 PM
    LOVE your blog, great insights. Thanks for sharing!
    1856 days ago
  • 1SALMON1
    Hey, thank you for this! I am in the sweatpants and big shirt stage; it took some time to get past feeling uncomfortable being around the skinny fit folks at the gym. It's encouraging to think they are cheering for me and those like me, instead of criticizing. There's enough criticism going on in my own head! Your blogs are great!
    1856 days ago
    emoticon this blog
    1856 days ago
    Dear skinny Girl.

    I look at you and see what I hope to be. I glance because I'm probably trying to stay motivated. I don't want your cute outfit, not yet. Right now it would only make me feel embarrassed.

    I feel like a fish out of water here and feel like everyone is staring at me. I guess I should hope they are cheering for me, but I'm the only fat girl here and what the voice in my head says is "Why are you here? Can't you see this is for serious workout people". or "Ewww. Gross."

    I'll try to build up my courage, but I'm not sure everyone is as nice as you. There are plenty of people who look at me and think "how did you let yourself go like that". I'm one of them.

    Fat Girl on the Elliptical emoticon
    1856 days ago
    loved this!!
    1856 days ago
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    1856 days ago
    Great blog! Since she's probably so intimidated already maybe you should strike up a conversation with her.
    1857 days ago
    Since you know how she feels, why don't you speak to her?...

    Maybe you intimidate her...

    Since you have walked in her shoes, help her out by not looking at her and tell her your story....

    That's motivational and inspirational...

    You mentioned in your letter ( have you heard of Sparkpeople) ask her...And if she hasn't then introduce her to our wonder new way of life...

    Each one teach one!

    We care!!!
    1857 days ago
  • DOTTY7267
    So nice! I am often looked at the same way, especially when I offer advise. They look at me "like what do you know about having to lose this much weight, what are you trying to lose - 10 pounds?!" The funny thing is over 5 years ago I was morbidly obese, so I definitely know about losing much more than you are trying to right now, believe me, I can help you! Anyway, I hope she says something to you soon, nd you guys can have a real conversation.
    1857 days ago
  • FISHER011
    Great Blog-Thanks!
    1857 days ago
  • EG8383
    Sometimes the skinny girls look intimidating and stuck up. When I was going to the gym and using the machines and skinner girls were next to me, they wouldn't glance at me and when they did it was as if they felt sorry for me. Maybe it was in my head. If I had a friendly skinny girl next to me I'd smile and try to strike up a conversation. Maybe the skinny girl should speak up first so the fat girl know's its ok. =) Love you blog
    1857 days ago
    This was wonderful! I can't tell you how many times I have been in the situation that the fat girl was in. I see all the skinnier girls around me and I think I will never be able to do that, I think they have no idea how hard it is for me. But you're right maybe they were once in my shoes. My advice that I wish someone at the gym would do with me is to tell the girl hi. She probably feels very uncomfortable and could use the encouragement you can give her!
    1857 days ago
    Awesome post! I never would have thought this way - and I'm so glad you shared. Congratulations on all you have achieved so far!

    Way to go!

    1857 days ago
    Great blog - love it!
    emoticon emoticon
    1857 days ago
    Excellent. Love it.
    1857 days ago
    Thanks for the reminder :) I think it is so easy to forget that everyone at the gym is fighting for the same things, and that just because someone is skinnier or fitter looking than me, doesn't mean they aren't kind lovely people :)
    1857 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Blog Dee I love your blogs !
    1857 days ago
  • IDOL559
    Really like and feel like I can relate to this post! So true how we make ourselves feel!
    1858 days ago
    Great post!!!
    1858 days ago
  • GRACE427
    That is the most wonderful blog i read in a while!
    Cheers to you.
    Most of the time, I stick my head phones on and dont want to be bothered. just want to get in and out. so i can go home and start dinner.

    But its nice to see what the toher side is thinking....i get neverous to approach people too..
    Cheers to you! emoticon
    1858 days ago
  • SHERRY28269
    Sometimes it is hard to start the conversation...you could always say hello first. I get your point though...people judge you without knowing where you started.
    1858 days ago
    1858 days ago
    1858 days ago
    emoticon That is so sweet. LOVE this blog!!
    1859 days ago
  • KATES1970
    Love this post so much!
    1859 days ago
  • KIPPER15
    The skinny girl at the gym I went to came over and showed me her picture at 290 lbs, she is at 123 now and has kept it off 13 years. She walks every day and comes to the gym 3-4 days a week. She introduced me to several people at the gym. I enjoyed the time much more. So glad she took the time to talk to me. emoticon
    1859 days ago
  • GOIN4GR8
    This is a great perspective. :-)

    I agree with all those who said you should initiate the conversation. I'm still the Fat Girl on the Next Stepper, and I always feel like I'd be bothering people if I tried to talk to them. (And some of those I *have* tried to talk to while on the machines have let me know they weren't there to chat, ha ha.)

    So if you're willing to talk, please do start it. Tell her you've seen her there often and congratulate her---will probably make her day.
    1859 days ago
    wow!! Thats an amazing post hun. I have to admit i have looked as some girls and wished i looked like them in the gym. I have been slim myself in the past and had others stare at me. im now back on the podge band wagon and yes, its very hard to get into the swimming pool or die on the bike or treadmill, but now i look at the other girls and say.. i will get there!!! im always chatty and met some amazing peeps in the gym..sadly also some girls who think they are the most stunning creatures in the world!!! well i may be fat but i have an amazing son and gorgeous man who supports and works out with me!!! good luck hun!!!! emoticon
    1859 days ago
  • LADYJAY714
    Aww I love it. I feel the same way too... Well I'm now the fat girl again but I remembering losing 30lbs 5 years ago and having haters gawk at me and made me feel judged little did they know I worked hard to get 30lbs off.

    This blog definitely made me walk memory lane and with that I want to change my fat self image and become fit and advise others too.

    1859 days ago
    AWESOME ,HOPE TO BE FORMER FAT CHICK !!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1859 days ago
    We all started out there!
    1859 days ago
  • BETH150
    a totally AWESOME blog!!!!!!!! :)
    1859 days ago
    Awesome emoticon
    1859 days ago
    I love your blogs. Well written and funny.

    1859 days ago
    Excellent work. Loved your blog.
    1859 days ago
    I think going to the gym FAT is the hardest thing to do; you feel freakish if your the biggest one there, shy, embarrassed.. I wouldn't even be able to lift my head [let alone make eye contact]...but, if people made me feel welcomed and I got the encouragement, I know I would open up. I think you should reach out to her ... emoticon
    1859 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1859 days ago
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    1859 days ago
    Love this blog. I still feel like the fat girl that is glancing over at you. I am willing to talk to you. I will listen to your advice. Thanks. This helped me alot.
    1859 days ago
    Love this post....
    1859 days ago
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