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    CHERYL_ANNE   65,473
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Far From What I Once Was But Not Yet What I'm Going To Be

Saturday, February 16, 2013



Yesterday I went clothes shopping for myself which has never been one of my favorite activities because when I was small, my father's mother liked nothing better than taking me shopping and using me as a dress-up doll. Quite a change from the way my mother and grandma shopped for me which consisted of them choosing outfits and letting me pick the one I wanted instead of modeling outfit after outfit.

Which leads me to my emotional experience of crying in the changing room. Not because the clothes I was trying on didn't fit, but because they did.

I made myself sit down and process the feelings and told myself not to be ashamed of crying but to be proud of all the work I had done to get to this point and that yes, the person you just clearly saw reflected back at you in the mirror is indeed, you and all the times you've glimpsed that smaller figure out of the corner of your eye as you've walked in front of a window's reflection, it's been you, not someone else. You are smaller than you think you are and the picture in your head of your size is wrong.

I now realize that all the work I've been doing trying to align my head and my heart is working but I'm not done yet. I have to replace that picture of myself in my head with a smaller version and continue on my journey.

I admit I keep looking at the two pairs of work trousers just tickled at how tiny they look as compared to the other ones I had been wearing, still marveling at the fact that I fit into them.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SISSIE21 2/17/2013 1:41AM

    That must have been such an amazing feeling! Congratulations!
PLEASE keep it up! I lost a ton of weight but for some reason could not reconcile my new thinner me with the picture of myself in my head and ended up regaining every pound and some.
Cherish the new you and know that the beautiful healthy woman looking back at you in the mirror is the accumulation of many days, weeks and months of hard work and determination. Celebrate her, the new you!!!!!
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JACKIE542 2/16/2013 11:41PM

    Congratulations! Happy for you. emoticon

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LIFEISPURRFECT 2/16/2013 5:11PM

    I have exactly the same problem. It's like the brain can't catch up with the image of how our bodies really are. For too many years I've been overweight and now that I've lost the weight I still have the image of how I use to weigh. We'll get there and in the mean time truly enjoy those smaller sizes!

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LAILATN 2/16/2013 5:09PM

    What a happy post! Congrats! emoticon

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GINILEE4 2/16/2013 2:08PM

   

So exciting for you. I think I need to go into those change rooms, just to see what I really do look like. We have been here 5 years and have no mirrors but head and shoulders views. It must be time for me to take a real look.
Congratulations on your real weight losses. They are showingup when you did not expect them. Take out a tape measure and check those numbers too. It will do you good.


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LORILEEPAGE 2/16/2013 12:15PM

    That's something to celebrate! emoticon

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SEEINGCLEARLY53 2/16/2013 12:06PM

    awwwww,,,I'm so happy for you!....that was so honest and beautiful! emoticon

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