Saturday, February 16, 2013
Bible reference -- In Romans, Paul says, "What I want to do, I do not do; what I do not want to do, I do." How is that so true, thousands of years later??
I don't like Ranch dressing. I haven't liked it for years... it is too many weird flavors and is like wax on my tongue because it's so fatty. (Kind of like mayonnaise -- I have disliked that for years, too.) So, why did I eat it on my salad yesterday? Why did I make a conscious decision to choose that instead of the Light Sesame or Light Italian? Perhaps I was thinking, "Spark has been showing me I'm not getting quite enough dietary fat," and wanted to get some ordinary "fat" into my diet. But hubby has a nice full-fat Balsamic Vinaigrette in the fridge, so why didn't I pick that?
I seriously do not understand who lives in my head.
All day, I was thinking that since my hubby would be out of town this weekend helping a friend move, I would make my healthy recipes that he won't eat. You know, everything that has asparagus and sweet potatoes and brown rice. (He eats healthy stuff, just hates certain things like those mentioned above.) I would have plenty of time to work out, maybe set up my bike on the trainer in the basement, run when I got home Friday, etc. I really was creating some grand plans. Then I got home and stuck a spoon in the Nutella jar and sat in front of the TV ALL NIGHT.
So, where's the disconnect between my head and my hands? This morning, I'm totally motivated, like I hit a reset button. Unfortunately, I have to make up for the sins of last night. I mean, I got my servings of fat in, right?! Ha!
I don't know, I just am not sure if this is something I just try to ignore, or what. I don't want to end up in a therapist's office, saying, "So, I ate ranch dressing but I don't even like it! What gives?" I am trying to schedule things that will keep me from being bored or whatever, but after long busy days, all I want is to be home by myself.
OK, sob sob, I'm a little embarrassed about this blog but I had to write it down for myself. I have to run off that stupid Nutella. At least it's snowing outside... I love running in the snow.