Saturday, February 16, 2013
Just when I think how I am really making progress with my food- I have a day where about mid afternoon, I started wanting to eat - not candy or dessert- just more food.
Yesterday I was around candy that I bought for other people- lindt truffles- my favorite. I caught a whiff but made a conscious decision to ignore it, ate one cupcake and didn't feel well afterwards- So I convinced myself that- See your body doesn't like that stuff already.
Today I ate a healthy salad and one sweet potato that tasted so good it was like dessert. I didn't finish the salad and thought I was doing so well. My son tried to get me to eat one of his peanutbutter/ chocolate "buckeyes" and I said no, just one will send me down a bad path I had my favorite kind of greek yogurt that has flax seed and chia in it plus some other healthy stuff. so why did I suddenly want more of anything that would feel like I was full?
I did end up eating extra fruit and some leftover fish fillets which I put in my tracker for today since it was past midnight.
I couldn't identify what the trigger was- maybe because I am missing a good friend I can't see as often now?
Or there seems to be an issue where if I really enjoy a food- the yogurt, the sweet potato, even broccoli slaw then I am triggered to want too much of even healthy food.
It seems strange to think I would want to binge on healthy food because I thought sugar and fat were my main triggers as well as creamy comfort foods. I can't even get hummus because I want to eat the whole container of it at once.
I do know that I have done similar things when I have resisted temptation really well and then seemed to relapse over something completely different.
So I'm not sure what it was but it scared me that I would start down a slippery slope again after I had been feeling so positive.
I did do an extra 5 minutes on my bike and I think I feel more in control now- I think somehow I have to get to where I only see food as fuel and not get too much pleasure from it- even healthy stuff.
What has been other people's experience, can we ever get to where food is just fuel and not attached to any pleasure that could trigger overeating? I so want to succeed this time and really make permanent changes for my happiness and my health.
As I reread this blog I added the part about wanting to overeat after I had resisted trigger foods successfully. So maybe that's all this was- I really don't know but I do know it helps to write and think about it.
so thanks for listening,
tomorrow will be better