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8,500-9,999 SparkPoints
hmmm, Moderation?

Friday, February 15, 2013

Today's SparkCoach assignment is to blog about what area in my life could use some moderation. The coaching session talked about not having extremes such as good foods vs bad foods. So I guess this is where my confusion comes in, because Dr. Jonny Bowden's program which I am following has helped me to conquer my food addictions to sugar, and in the process lose 56 pounds. I guess to some, giving up sugar, which also includes flour, would be considered an extreme. So, here's the issue, I didn't start off the program thinking I was a food addict. I just thought I loved the taste of food, and that's why I've always struggled trying to maintain a weight loss, and every other program I've tried in the past has led to failure. Phase one, or the self-therapy portion of the program was pretty intense, and opened my mind to, okay, I might have a slight problem. Phase two, the elimination portion of the program, opened my mind to, yes, I'm in deep trouble. I actually went through physical, as well as mental withdrawals from eliminating sugar, and flour. I was tired, irritable, couldn't sleep, had daily headaches, and knew that if I just ate a row of Oreo's, all the misery would go away. Getting through the first week was tough. By the end of the second week, I started to feel much better, and as the weeks progressed, I was amazed at how good I was starting to feel. The energy picked up, almost into overdrive during the day, the headaches were gone, my stomach issues were gone, and I started sleeping through the night. I had not slept for seven to eight hours a night in so long, that I forgot what it felt like to wake up and pop right out of bed. Gone are the "I just need five more minutes of sleep!" mornings. The most amazing aspect of the program was that I was not having anymore cravings. The healthy foods that replaced my old eating behaviors were very healing in more ways than one. Now the third phase of the program, or the reintroduction of certain foods, was very tricky. This was the part that would let me know if I had a food sensitivity. And this is where I discovered that yes, I have an addiction to sugar, and flour. Most people, probably handle moderation very well, and have self-control. I on the other hand, experienced a set-back trying to reintroduce certain foods. One slice of organic whole wheat toast, which sounds so healthy, was my undoing. I couldn't stop at the one slice with my poached egg. I toasted another, added butter then some strawberry jam. Before I knew it, my "inner fat girl" had a "Scarlett O'Hara" moment. We just won't think about this now, we'll deal with it tomorrow, and I proceeded to toast and butter several more pieces of "healthy organic whole wheat bread". If I were to have had a brain scan at that moment, the area of my brain that depicts pleasure would have been lit up like a neon sign! Needless to say, when writing in my reintroduction journal about bread, I simply put, not a good idea! So, I am definitely experiencing a contradiction of two programs. After all, one wouldn't tell an alcoholic or drug addict, everything in moderation. It has taken me seven months to learn what I can and cannot reintroduce. More importantly, I have learned to embrace this new healthy way of eating, and no longer look at it as deprivation, but as healing. Sadly to say, from my experiences, sugar and flour are a definite no. Not even in moderation. So, if I had to choose an area that needs work in moderation, this would have to be it. After all, tomorrow is another day, and I am still a work in progress.

lisa (aka Scarlett)

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