Today my perfect calendar arrived from Amazon:



It feels as somebody finally understands me... ..and the best thing is that I ordered it at the end of january.

But I have been unnormal in two things today - I was doing an interview in the morning (that I am right now procrastinating to write) and when I looked at my phone there was a message from the tax inspector who has been making inquiries about my tax declaration. He was on the voice mail asking me to phone him - and I did! Very unlike me, I would have preferred to postphone this until monday. AND there is more – as his voice mail said he was out for lunch I had the perfect excuse to leave a message back, saying that I had tried and then forget abpout it for a while, but I did phone hoim after lunch again and now I have to find some facts he wants. It is not a catasptrophe (I hope) but there is a lot of anxiety in this for me.

Anxiety reason two today - I donīt know about your countries but in sweden we have to inspect our cars once a year and if they pass all is well but if they donīt we have one month to fix the errors and then there is a driving ban. Last year I never got around to go to that inspection,my car had a driving ban on it as I went into a police control...very expensive. When you are supposed to insepct is due to the registration number, mine said january (but you have another month to go although it is more expensive) ou have to book it,mostly there are weeks to wait but if you get up early in the morning you can normally get a cancellation time the same day. I have been telling myself "you have to do it you have to do it" all january knowing very well that my car would not pass.The brakes are not perfect and there might be rust underneath - it is fron -97. And my big question has been if I should spend the money and then pay some thousands of crowns to fix it and then have another year to go. But I also know that it is just a matter of time before I have to change it so why not do it now?

So I went to a care sale and found a new car - 06 model Renault and my cash investment was all the mponey I had save and then I will be paying the rest in monthly payments for four years (I paid the old one during five years, just finished in october last year) I should be sort of happy because it is problem solved for a while and that I could solve it was also good. But the anxiety of taking on that dept has kept me feeling sick the rest of the day. I have to practise trust again, this is ok, I can handle it...