Friday, February 15, 2013
I've had a relapse with the depression. It's been brewing for a couple of months.
I'm back on anti-depressants and have a temporary med to help me sleep.
Now to find a GP Psychoanalyst practitioner. They are covered by our Health Plan. Unless you have the money or private insurance - and I don't - Psychoanalysts charge - a lot. The ones that are covered by our government medical plan are few and far between and I have to be referred by my family doctor. At least knowing that I'm doing something positive helps me stay steady most of the time.
The biggest thing that keeps going through my mind is why am I like this? There are so many people that are and have gone through so much both physically and mentally and yet seem to be content with their lives and yet here I am feeling so sorry for myself for things that happened to me as a child and young adult. I have a wonderful husband, great children who have made me proud and 6 healthy grandchildren who are doing well.
I don't even understand myself. How could anyone else? NO, I'm not suicidal and would never entertain it. That is not the kind of legacy I would leave.
Thanks for letting me vent.
My prayers for you is that you go around the corner and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been there often, I just can't seem make it entirely out of the tunnel.