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The Empty Air that Used to Be ME!

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Friday, February 15, 2013

I just came bounding up the office stairs and really thankful for the fact I can.

That is a long reach from the days in the past when I couldn't work out. When I was on crutches and even had to use a wheelchair. My dear husband would always drop me at the front of wherever we were going and pick me up afterwards. 3 years ago, I had both of my knees replaced. It took 2 years to get the strength back that I lost from not being able to work out. It was an exhausting time both physically and mentally.

It is hard to believe that I am actually leading an exercise class today. It wouldn't have even been something I thought I could do again. I have to admit, it feels good to have people who look up to you to lead them on the journey to fitness, even though you are still in that journey yourself.

Think about it....I am not the typical model for a fitness guru. I am in the middle of this marathon and people look at me and want to join the marathon. There are a few that I look at in the class I lead, and think...they are in better shape that I am...., but yet they come.

I suppose part of the psychology of this journey is to see myself the way others see me. "Love your neighbor as yourself"....I still have a long way to go with the mental side of this. It is not as difficult to look in the mirror and not tear myself apart.

I can actually take pleasure in putting on a pair of jeans that nearly fall off of me, that at one time, where skin tight. That empty air...used to be me....

I can tell that my legs have shrunk as I can nearly run up stairs, that about a year ago was a challenge to walk up. Then there are those underwear that are starting to look like bloomers on me. It is nearly hilarious to see the empty air... that used to be me....

One night I turned over in the bed, but the bottoms of my pajamas fell off...I guess I should find some that fit, but it is pretty cool see the empty air... that used to be me.

I don't even want to mention the bras...OH well...suppose they had to shrink too.....That empty air... used to be me....

There was the dress that I would wear to parties. I tried to wear it for a Christmas party. It looked utterly ridiculous...Fell off my shoulders...didn't even have to unzip the zipper...All that empty air...used to be me....

The t-shirt that used to be my favorite one, now looks like a parachute. I was going to wear it to gym, but it was falling off of me....All that empty air...used to be me...

It is 75 pounds of air that used to be me. Ponder on that for just one minute....I don't even like to pick up the bag of potatoes at the store. I lost over 7 of those bags in weight. I couldn't carry a 75 pound bag on my back, but somehow carried it on my body for years. It is amazing to me.

This is my ode to empty air....75 pounds of it. What used to be me isn't anymore.
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