One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Friday, February 15, 2013
Well. A little less than a week ago I was celebrating FINALLY getting into the 180's after being in the 190's since mid-October. That's ten pounds in a little over three months, which is absolutely wretched. Well, the past three days have definitely changed that.
I ended up calling in sick to work on Tuesday, which gave me a three day weekend. I was planning on being super productive, but after putting so much time into taking my mom to her day surgery and caring for her on top of helping my friends pack for their move to Portland (that was a twenty hour day), I cracked. My friends paid for food while we were packing, which meant two humongous slices of Alfredo chicken pizza, an equally large piece of fruit-topped cake from Whole Foods, and a few glasses of various alcohol.
Today has been just as bad. I had one Slimfast, three spring rolls, a two-entree plate from Panda Express, two spinach harvest salads from Kroger, and six off-brand Oreos with a glass of cherry blossom wine. I estimate it's about 2200-2300 calories. Ugh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! No doubt I'm right back up around 193-ish. I'm amazingly disappointed in myself.
For some reason I've really been struggling this week in more than just the food department. I haven't been exercising in that time, and even though I really need to hunker down financially, I've been overwhelmed with the desire to eat out, buy art supplies and new work clothes, etc. *Sigh* I'm in serious need of a major reality check... like the bill for my first car payment. Bleh.
I guess there is nothing to do but wake up tomorrow morning for the start of my work week and get back on track. Hopefully my resolve and commitment will come back to me so it's not so terribly hard.
*Sigh* And of course there's the whole "the weekend is over so I'm bummed out" thing. Haha there's always that.
Well, since starting this journey of bettering myself, I've gotten into the habit of looking onto the bright side of things whether I want to or not, so I'll make myself do that now: I got to spend some quality time with friends that will be moving across the country in a matter of days, and when I unearthed an unused box of Prismacolor pastels and a giant boxed set of paints (oils, acrylics, and watercolor), colored pencils, and crayon sticks, they gave them to me! Also my mom is recovering very well from her procedure Wednesday, and I got to spend some quality time with my dogs, which has been a rare thing lately. Plus I had an extra day on my weekend, which is always nice. Even though it doesn't feel like it, those are all pretty good things.
Tomorrow has to be better, whether I'm in a good mood or not! Instead of rambling of a list of To-Do's that will depress me if I stray from it, I'm going to set some more reasonable goes for myself and modify my schedule. I usually feel better if I get up earlier in the day and go to bed when I get home from work rather than getting up around noon and staying up later at night. Hopefully I can make that happen.
My focus will be getting on track with food, and then once I have a firm grip on that I have to ease in the fitness again, which is proving really difficult for me. Hopefully work is a surprisingly pleasant experience that will give me a much needed boost.
Anywho, here are my goals, both small and large, for this upcoming week (which for me runs from Friday to Thursday):
1. Get back into my calorie range and track my food on SparkPeople.
2. Power through all six work days this week.
3. Stay on track financially and avoid extraneous expenses.
4. Contribute creatively through reading, writing, or drawing.
Small and vague goals, I know, but maybe those will have a more positive effect than having more specific goals on a shorter time limit for success. Hopefully indeed.
Well. I hope everyone is having a great start to their weekend and are having better success than me in the food and fitness departments.