How I Can Be Taylor Swift and Augustus Gloop All In One Blog Post
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Okay, so I've processed it for a day in my head and I spent a good portion of the afternoon after work processing it the way I seem to process best--by cutting out pictures and putting words all over a page in no particular order...
Now I think I'm ready to start talking about the changes with real, coherent sentences...
In December a very good friend convinced me to buy a Groupon (those are everywhere, right? Everyone knows what a Groupon is? You know--a “Group” “Coupon”...hence the mashup of the words...) for 4 weeks of boot camp. While I was on the site, my very good husband convinced me to what-the-heck, just buy 2 of them for EIGHT weeks of boot camp. 8 weeks of 5:30 am boot camp, which meant that he was committing to 8 weeks of waking up with the kids, getting them ready for school, making lunches, feeding them breakfast, and getting them to school on time. Not an easy commitment for my husband who works late into the night almost every night...
So I did it. I bought the Groupon because who wouldn’t pass up the chance to not have to pack lunches for 8 weeks??
I also knew I needed a huge kick in the ass to get moving. I was at my heaviest weight ever, with the exception of when I was pregnant with my children (and I wasn’t far behind that). I felt tired all the time, irritated all the time. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself for how I looked and just generally being all those horrible things you hear that women are right before their awesome breakthroughs.
On January 7, I started boot camp. I went (mostly) faithfully every single weekday, with the exception of a few days...all of which happen to focus on core...which can’t be a coincidence...
One week in, I started counting calories. Then two weeks later, bummed about only losing 2 pounds, I gave up wheat. Six weeks in, I finally had a chance to meet with the trainer for boot camp one on one.
That was yesterday, February 13. He and I talked about my goals and took my measurements. He asked how many pounds I’d lost since I started boot camp. “When I started on January 7th, I weighed 161.1 lbs. Today I weigh 157.2.”
“Huh. Are you still eating white flour?”
“No. No flour.”
“Are you still eating sugar?”
“Well...” Okay, so here’s the thing, and I know I’m not alone here. I love sugar. I love, love, love sugar. It’s particularly appropriate that I talk about how much I love sugar today--you know, the Sugarholic Holiday--Valentine’s Day. I LOVE Valentine’s Day, and it has very little to do with my wonderful husband and family. Nope. It’s because the whole day smells like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory (at least, how it smells in my mind). Remember Augustus from that movie? The kid who loved the chocolate river so much he fell in, then got sucked up a tube? I’m like that guy, only I don’t have access to a chocolate fountain (I did, however, at one time have foundation that made my skin the color of an Oompa Loompa’s).
So yes, I told him I was still eating sugar. I didn’t wax on poetically about it or anything.
“You won’t reach the goals you’ve set for yourself until you stop eating sugar.”
Ehh...hmm. Are goals really that important? More important than sugar in my coffee? I mean, really?
On my way home from our meeting (and there was more to the meeting, which I’m sure I’ll get to eventually), I called my friend who first convinced me to sign up for the boot camp in the first place. I told her about the sugar deal.
“What? That’s ridiculous. You can lose weight and still eat sugar. I’m losing weight and still eating sugar!”
So there it was! My out! The guy is a nutjob, right? Pass me the sugar bowl and call me Augustus!
I got home and said all of this (minus Augustus because I didn’t really think of that comparison until tonight) to my husband. He pointed out what I didn’t want to be true: There’s no reason NOT to stop eating sugar. It’s not doing me any good. And couldn’t this just be my body’s way of rationalizing the desire for chocolate and Pumpkin Spice Lattes?
But alright. I’ve jumped in with both feet, no turning back until I get to the finish line now. Want to hear all the changes (I’m amazed that anyone would have read to this point, actually, unless you’re my mom)?
Starting Today, February 14, 2013:
1. No more wheat. We are never ever getting back together. I should write a song...
2. No more sugar. I’m not convinced this one will never come back again (like, ever), but I don’t know. I may just be hoping it’s not bad for me...
3. A daily journal. Two, actually. One with the requirements from my trainer, the other from my wonderful husband for me to start today--the story of my journey. And for fun, I’ll also probably write a lot of it right here in my SP blog.
Ahh...so much more to come...but right now I’m distracted by my beautiful new journal...Goodnight, SparkPeople!