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What in the world is wrong with me!?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

I am so up and down I'm making myself dizzy! I need to find a way to harness all the energy and motivation I have when I renew my workout efforts every few weeks before I inevitably quit on myself again. I don't really understand why I do the things I do, while its happening I know I'm sabotaging myself. I make bad decisions with the knowledge that they are bad and that I'll hate myself later but do it anyways. I never hold it against myself long cause that's part of the whole crazy train I'm over it in a few days and I'm as pumped as ever to loose the weight. I've been bouncing between the same 3lbs for the last few weeks I work out one day and then skip the next 5 I track for 2 days and then quit that all together. I have to quit quitting! I have to stop being lazy I have to stick with it! Why can't I stick with anything!??!?!?

In true me fashion I sat myself down and chastised myself for slacking the last 2 weeks made a new plan (because I'm crazy about plans LOVE them even if I don't use them) went online bought myself a new swim suit and workout pants to motivate myself messaged my friend that I would sign up for the 30 day biggest loser challenge at our gym with her and promised myself up and down that I would kick butt this time. It's one thing to buy the clothes and say I'll do it, it's 100% another thing to actually drag my butt to the pool or to the gym we'll see what happens I feel bad that I don't really have faith in myself right now but I already know I'm not crazy about going out in the cold to workout somewhere other than my house and have to go through the trouble of finding a sitter but it has to be done working out at home is not working it's too easy to make excuses not to and there are too many interruptions so I stop and start 100 times and its not even worth it. I HAVE TO DO IT THIS TIME I CANNOT KEEP FAILING!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can so relate to this post. I have been in cycles like this before, and it is the worst form of self-torture!

    One thing that has helped me in the past was coming to the realization that I did not *HAVE* to lose weight. I wanted to. I needed to. But I didn't HAVE to. Lots of people never do. I know it might sound strange, but that thought helped get me out of the cycle. I realized that no one was forcing me to lose weight, and that I didn't have to feel guilty for making choices that were not compatible with weight loss. At any time, you have the right to choose for yourself whether living a healthier lifestyle is something you are going to spend your energy on. Once it felt more like a decision I was making of my own free will, I was able to get out of the cycle of guilt every time I messed up.

    Good luck!
    1856 days ago
    Hey, take one step at the time.
    You bought the clothes so now you have to make the other step and go to the gym.
    Keep pushing you are almost there.
    emoticon emoticon
    1858 days ago
  • JOSIE2013
    I hear you and can relate. At least we keep trying though.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1859 days ago
  • KREESE116
    I can completely relate to your post. This lifestyle change is definitely a difficult one. I have been only doing this now for about 7 months and I have stayed strong for a while but especially around the holidays & now with my busy work schedule I am finding it very hard for me to stay motivated. I have been eating ok (not too horrible) but the last couple weeks I have really been slacking on my workouts. I found out though that even over Christmas when I gave myself a "week off" from this, when I got started again it gave me that extra boost I needed and I really noticed a different in the way I feel throughout the day.

    I agree with what everyone else is saying. Maybe giving yourself an actual break where you are not stressing about what you should or shouldn't be doing and just enjoying yourself or your time with your children will help you get through this rough patch. Take some "you" time and enjoy yourself! You deserve it!!
    1859 days ago
    I could relate to what you wrote. If only just wanting it back enough was enough!
    1859 days ago
    I agree that how you view it, although it may sound crazy, does in fact make a difference. Maybe, take a week and purposely take a break. Step on the scale the day you start your week off and don't step back on it until after your first day of working out again a week later. Don't go crazy overboard on food, but don't worry about a few extra calories here or there and don't freak out if you don't make it to the gym. Spend time with you. Every one needs a break now and then and it sounds like you need a purposeful break, not an "accidental" one. You're going to beat this cycle eventually, just remember that there are so many of us who are in the same boat sometimes!
    1859 days ago
    maybe you need to really spice up your plan? do a little of this, a little of that, keep it fresh!
    1859 days ago
  • KMM1123
    The honesty in your blog is great! It's something many people struggle with. Try not to think of it as "quitting" though, instead think of it as a pause. You haven't given up completely therefore you didn't technically quit. Pauses in your weight loss journey are perfectly fine and to be expected. No ones perfect. My pauses recently have all been during the weekend - something I know I need to work on. But during these pauses, never once do I think I've quit trying to lose weight and get healthier. It might sound like a silly mental trick but it's definitely helped me stay on track more often.

    emoticon emoticon
    1859 days ago
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