Thursday, February 14, 2013
I am so up and down I'm making myself dizzy! I need to find a way to harness all the energy and motivation I have when I renew my workout efforts every few weeks before I inevitably quit on myself again. I don't really understand why I do the things I do, while its happening I know I'm sabotaging myself. I make bad decisions with the knowledge that they are bad and that I'll hate myself later but do it anyways. I never hold it against myself long cause that's part of the whole crazy train I'm over it in a few days and I'm as pumped as ever to loose the weight. I've been bouncing between the same 3lbs for the last few weeks I work out one day and then skip the next 5 I track for 2 days and then quit that all together. I have to quit quitting! I have to stop being lazy I have to stick with it! Why can't I stick with anything!??!?!?
In true me fashion I sat myself down and chastised myself for slacking the last 2 weeks made a new plan (because I'm crazy about plans LOVE them even if I don't use them) went online bought myself a new swim suit and workout pants to motivate myself messaged my friend that I would sign up for the 30 day biggest loser challenge at our gym with her and promised myself up and down that I would kick butt this time. It's one thing to buy the clothes and say I'll do it, it's 100% another thing to actually drag my butt to the pool or to the gym we'll see what happens I feel bad that I don't really have faith in myself right now but I already know I'm not crazy about going out in the cold to workout somewhere other than my house and have to go through the trouble of finding a sitter but it has to be done working out at home is not working it's too easy to make excuses not to and there are too many interruptions so I stop and start 100 times and its not even worth it. I HAVE TO DO IT THIS TIME I CANNOT KEEP FAILING!