feeling draggy -- but upbeat
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Exercise this week has been abysmal. I've been feeling grumpy and tired and work has eaten up much of my evenings and sick kids the rest. (I wonder if I'm sick too?) I've been trying to eat closer to the top of my calorie range because I was wondering if maybe not eating enough has contributed to my grumpiness. The rate at which I'm losing weight these past few weeks is an indication that the range is not appropriate anyway -- because of nursing, because my exercise numbers are off -- maybe even just because I tend to overestimate my serving sizes. But either way, 3.5 lbs a week is nice to see but not worth being snappy to my spouse and kids and not having energy.
Then again, upping my calories has not improved the situation so that's not the likeliest culprit. More likely it's a combination of not sleeping enough and maybe coming down with something.
One thing I'm really happy about is that something seems to have clicked this time around. Oh, I lost weight steadily and healthfully enough two years ago, but two years ago I feel like I spent much more energy trying to keep myself too full to overeat. I'd pack a huge bag of fresh veggies every morning -- two kohlrabis, half a celery, etc. -- and not allow myself to eat anything else until I was done. It worked great at work but my days at home were a huge struggle and more often than not I ended up overeating badly those weekend days.
This time I have less time (I need to pack lunches for three more people!). I still pack myself a healthy low-cal veggie snack, but a single reasonable portion. And I find I am not fighting myself all day to keep myself from raiding the snack drawer. It just isn't happening. Last week I worked from home 3 days of the week, so I was only at work for 2 days. And last week was great nutritionally. The days I stayed home were no different than the days I went to work except that I could prepare a hot lunch instead of cold. I worked from home again unexpectedly yesterday and at the end of the day realized that although I hadn't pre-packed my day's food as I do most workdays my nutrition was still about the same (except for the intentional extra 200 calorie snack at the end).
I feel really good about being able to sustain a reasonable eating pattern with fairly minimal attention. It makes me feel like this is more likely to survive minor upsets, like the holiday of Purim coming up or my long visit home in March.
Although there are still clearly situations where I have trouble. Frosting and cake -- I can't sit in the same room with them for too long without indulging. I hate that -- but I recognize it and plan around it. The last two times I had to go to parties/receptions where there would be cake I tried to eat a full meal ahead of time but still caved to the siren call of the frosting. So the next opportunity I just didn't go. It wasn't an important event for anyone in particular and I just skipped it. It does not feel right as a living strategy to just avoid food based events but it does feel right as a strategy for this point in my journey when I'm still consolidating my self-control over other situations. In three months I'll reconsider but for now that's the plan.