Thursday, February 14, 2013
I have had a stressful week this week at work. We had our Special Ed Monitoring and the atmosphere in the office has been different. The Administrators were worried about the out come of everything. It just rubs off on you when everyone else is stressed.
I handled that stress fine. I know how to handle that stress by breathing, going to visit other co-workers in the building and to exercise if I feel it is bothering me.
Well last night I had a different kind of stress. My husband that I have been separated from for almost 3 years stopped by to pick up the bills. I have started to call him my ex-husband since we haven't been together for so many years. He has been living with another woman for about 2 years now and is in a relationship with her.
When he was getting ready to leave he wanted to give me a hug. I didn't mind but I know what they can lead to with him. I was skeptical about the hug but I did give him one. Then he tries to kiss me and not a kiss on the cheek but a full blown kiss. I wasn't having it. This is something I have had to deal with since he has left me. He hasn't tried to do this for at least 6 months or a year. His reasoning was to see if he still has feelings for me.
I don't want to get into all the details of last night but I really don't need this kind of stress. Wondering if he still has feelings for me, if he is going to keep trying to do this when he comes over. It makes me starting to wonder if I want to get back with him. I don't need that because I am making a change in my life. I am happier since he first left me. I have been on an emotional roller coaster and was enjoying the calmness that I was starting to feel.
I think I dealt with that stress in a good way by first hugging my puppy for getting in between us during the hug and then trying to kiss me incident. Then I did my TNT for BLC which helped with calming me down. I also called and talked to my friend just to vent before starting the TNT.
I did not go and eat which is what I have done in the past. I know that I have changed and have learned what some of my stress triggers are and how to deal with them. I just needed to share this with everyone and I hope it wasn't TMI for any one.
I am thankful for:
1. My puppy Samantha
2. My friends in real life and on here
3. For learning more about myself each day.