Grant me Serenity
Thursday, February 14, 2013
A few weeks ago, I started attending Al Anon meetings. For those unfamiliar with it, Al Anon is for the friends and families who have been affected by an alcoholic. It's based on the same 12 step program AA uses, with the idea we can help the alcoholic by practicing the 12 steps ourselves.
My husband is an alcoholic. I used to always qualify this statement with "but not as bad as some people." I don't do that anymore. Our lives have truly become unmanageable, and things got worse than I thought they were. Or could be.
I'll spare you the details, because a public blog is likely not the best place to share them. However, suffice it to say we struggle. I needed extra support, so I started attending Al Anon meetings at the suggestion of my aunt.
I'm so glad I did. I have started a journal in a small moleskine notebook.
Tonight I took a very huge step. I asked someone to be my sponsor. I've been drawn to this lady since my second meeting, and we just had a connection. She's funny, has similar life experiences, and knows the struggles I face. So I asked her. She smiled, and said she's not good long term, but she's good in the beginning. I'm at the beginning of the program, so that's okay with me. :)
I'm already kinda friends with her.
It's a hard road, and I'm just starting on it. I'm trying to learn the program, and really start getting down to doing it daily.
I am finding it is providing me with a lot of helpful, positive thinking that's applying to more than just my relationship with my husband, but also everyday life, and dealing with my kids.
I can do this.
One quote from tonight's meeting really resonates with me. My very wise aunt, my mentor and friend, once told me this, and I think she must have learned it at an Al Anon meeting herself. "If nothing changes, nothing changes."
This is SO true, for all of us. In our weight loss journeys, as we struggle with our addiction to food, it's not unlike an alcoholic fighting alcohol. And if we do things the way we always have, how can we expect them to be any different? If the things you have always done aren't working, you need to change them.
I try to live my life by that mantra. If nothing changes, then nothing will change. But if I do change... something will happen, for better or worse.
So tomorrow, I'm going to focus on making a new change. I don't know what, yet, but I will change something. Maybe it will be big. Maybe it will be small. But something will be different.
My challenge to you today: Do something different. Because if you do what you've always done, you'll get the results you always have.