February Lessons and a little update.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Don't know what to write. It's been 16 days and I need to something to get me going. I'm just going to fake it and keep moving.
It has been 36 days from my last drink.
Cardiologist said today. "I'm OK" More electrolytes and water.
Still under 180 pounds, even with all this stuff, just feel slow and bad.
Stay on your horse. Don't get off, it's a pain to get back on.
Keep touch with your friends. Even if it's only one person.
Look forward. The only thing you can change is in front of you.
And one I learned from my son. If you turn your MP3 player to max, stick the earbuds up your nose and open your mouth. Your head will not, I Repeat WILL NOT become a human speaker.
Get back to moving.
Try and figure out these huge mood swings of depress, happy, irritable, and anything else.
When I get back to full exercise. 1. My BP will drop again, have to keep up electrolytes
2. Will need over 2100 calories per day to maintain.
3. Exercise takes time. (personal time being used)
Will need completely new goals, and I don't even know what I want.
Sleep will become essential.
That's it for now. Going to sleep, maybe. Will rest tonight with a plan to take flight tomorrow. Good luck everyone!! And thanks for reading.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Konrad! You are an amazing and determined man who has such value unknown to yourself. Your transparency here is part of that and I do love you for it. So many others, myslef included, have struggled in February. Not sure why but you are NOT alone, Friend!
1819 days ago
I love SpunkyDucky's comment. It does take a lot of guts to put what you are feeling, espeically when you are feeling negative on here. I know I have had days where I have felt like absolute crap and I havent posted. I so desperately dont want to see me when I am down. I am afraid of being judged, that is a huge issue I have. I also have horrible anxiety and huge childhood issues that my fiance keeps trying to get me to talk to someone about but I keep putting it off. I give all credit to you for being able to post this. It is amazing that you have come through all of this, keep it slow and steady, keep your electrolytes up and keep at it :) Making goals is never easy, but once you have set goals, it really helps motivate you :) Also, it is really great to know that your head doesnt work like speakers, you learn something new every day, and this lesson gave me a REALLY good laugh !
1826 days ago
My favorite: stay on your horse. Don't get off, it's a pain to get back on. I can sure relate to that. I've been trying to get back on the horse for a while now and it isn't easy. Why didn't I stay on it in the first place?! Congrats on being sober. That's a huge accomplishment!
1832 days ago
Sorry you have experienced this set-back. But you are right, you are learning from it. That's what it's all about (contrary to the belief that the hokey pokey is what it's all about). Hang in there. Make a plan. Put it into play. Use the new knowledge you have found as you map out the plan. Make adjustments. Keep moving forward. You can do this. You've made two huge life changes...two very positive ones. I applaud you! Really! Now, be good to you. Figure out how to live this new, wonderful, thin, alcohol-free life. You can do it. It's step 3 of the 1-2-3 change that you are making. You made it through step 1 and step 2. It's like you booked the vacation, you took the flight to the vacation spot, now you have arrived. You need to decide what to do now that you are here. Set some goals and work toward them. You can do it! Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on!
1832 days ago
36 days since you've had a drink? Wish I could do that with...well, anything!
I realize you're not that psyched about it, but I have to congratulate you on sticking to it even though I'm sure you've probably wanted to have one at some point.
Hang in there. If you pretend you are ____________, then pretty soon you'll forget you're pretending. (So yes, fake it 'til you make it).
Oh, and thanks for the advice re the human speaker head. Saved me some future embarrassment there...
1834 days ago
I love SPUNKYDUCKY's comments. So very true!
I suffer from depression as well as anxiety and in order to keep my life more balanced, I am on a medication for it. I am NOT saying that is the right choice for everyone. What I do suggest is the possibilty that you need to be seen by a medical provider to be evaluated for the possible need to treat it medically. Just a suggestion - I understand if that isn't something you want or need to do. For me, it was a life saving action that I am grateful for now.
That isn't to say that I am always 'up' now but I have more days that are positive and many, many less days that get me down now. I still have seasonal depression and for that reason I have one simple goal for the next 39 days now - I am walking outside at least 10 minutes a day no matter what the weather. I need to get myself outside and I need a reason to do it.
So perhaps something extremely simple to ramp up your motivation? Remember you are important so even if you are taking your 'personal time' for fitness, you are doing your body the most good that you can!
You Are Worth It Konrad!
1834 days ago
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Unknown Author
1834 days ago
I'm glad you posted a blog! I just want to give you a big *ehug*
Feeling slow right now is understandable. Your body went through a sort of trauma, and it's rebooting. Get those electrolytes in... make sure you're getting some from fruits and veggies as well as stuff like gatorade. Most of all, don't push yourself too hard at the gym; you'll get further by going slow!
If you're having mood swings, I have a few suggestions. The first is to start a slow exercise regime again... sometimes even just walking would help. If you don't go outside very often, catch some rays so your body can make Vit D. Take time to do things you love and time to work on meditation-type things. For me, exercise falls into this category, but so does reading a good book. Anything that you can find enjoyment in and live in the moment. Focus on the now, the little things that give you pleasure. I like to close my eyes and feel the sun on my face, as cheesy as that sounds. Most of all, think good things about yourself. You're such a positive force! You deserve to have your personal time however you want it.
Finally, if these things don't help, I would suggest counseling. I started seeing a therapist once a week in May, and it has changed my life. I wouldn't be at this good place I am today without taking that step.
I have to say, your comment about the human speaker made me laugh REALLY loud.
I'm here if you ever want to talk! Just sparkmail me :-)
1834 days ago
Hi Konrad! It takes a lot of guts to put up that blog - the one that says you are going to "fake it til you make it" and that you don't know exactly where you are headed. Forward is all you need for today. I think exercise will likely help the mood swings and part of why you are feeling bad is that your body became very adjusted to exercise and endorphins. Maybe you want to train for a 5K or a 10K -just to give you something to focus on? Deep respect for you 36 days sober.
Hang in there - positive change is coming
1834 days ago
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