Wednesday, February 13, 2013
It's been a couple of weeks since my last post. Things have been going fairly well. Been doing some workouts (2-3) in each week. Doing my meditation almost daily.
Noticed a change in my inner monologue. It's like I'm seeing things because of trying out glasses after going through life without. I never realized how unaware I was of certain things. Not only do I have a healthier inner dialogue, but I'm just more aware of so many things. Thoughts I never had before are coming in all the time when I least expect.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining it too clearly. For instance, when something happens that causes me to be emotional, I have had a tendency to replay it again and again in my head regardless of if I want to or not. Sometimes I intentionally ruminate about it to try to figure out how to handle it. Sometimes it just won't leave my mind because it's too upsetting no matter how hard I try to focus on other things. Now I'm just freer to live my day, taking each moment as it comes, acting as best as I can within the moment. Now, the course of action just comes to me whether I'm trying to think about it or not.
Or I suddenly will understand some behaviour or a person on an entirely new level. Or I realize how my behaviour might be impacting people in a way I don't intend it to, so i am able to avoid doing the behaviour or explain myself to clarify things. (I work in mental health so it's pretty important)
I'm still not sure I'm explaining things too well but oh well.
I credit this largely to my focus on meditation. I have never sustained it for this long of a time before and this regular and it's just like I'm waking up to a new world. I can't imagine going back to the way I lived before after everything I've been experiencing. I feel physically, emotionally, and mentally healthier than I've ever been. It just keeps getting better and better, it's amazing.
Thank you SparkPeople for your part in things. Thank you to anyone reading this for taking the time to check in with me on my journey. I wish everyone all the best on their own path.