Wednesday, February 13, 2013
In order for me to continue to grow and keep sight of my accomplishments, I decided to re-read the blogs I wrote from my first go around with Spark. I will be revisiting these blogs over the next couple weeks in order to reignite my spark.
***Taken from my Nov 30, 2010 blog***
Damn you size 20 pants, I want you out!! You did nothing but cheat me for over 7 years and I am tired of it! I deserve so much better and I wouldn't get it if I stayed with you. I outgrew you several times, teetering off with the 22's, played hanky panky with the 18's ocassionally but I always came back to you. Now I stare at you at the top of my closet, ready to throw you out. But I'm scared. I know if I let you go this time, you are not coming back and I don't know how to live without you. I know I can, but do I really want to? OF COURSE I DO! You kept me from my full potential. People thought we looked good together, that I carried you well but I remember what life was like before you. I was so much more confident. I smiled brighter. I had a spring in my step and a switch in my walk. Once we got together, I walked a little slower, I hung my head a little lower. No one got to see my dimples or the light in my eyes. I didn't feel sexy. I wore you to bed every night but I didn't sleep easy. It's like this whole time together has been one big blur and I missed out on so much.
It's over. I never want to see you again. I am sure I will run into you again since you and size 18 tend to hang out. But I've been flirting with size 16 lately and though we are not in a committed relationship right now, I am certain we will get there one day soon. And honestly, I don't know how long the two of us will last because I am done settling. Who knows? I may meet the perfect size 10 one day that will make me happy. But I can't do that with you hanging around. As long as I know you are available, I will always have the urge to run back. Because let's be honest, we are comfortable with each other. And you were good to me at times. When I ran off with the 22's, you welcomed me right back home. You didn't even make me feel guilty. Perhaps you've outgrown ME. I am sure there are women out there dying to have a chance with you. You do have good qualities, I just think I can do better. Though I love you for all we have been through, I am no longer IN love so its best we part ways now. Goodbye size 20.