Wednesday, February 13, 2013
After a rather roller-coaster end of 2012, 2013 is ramping up to be a another year of changes, activity and keeping an even keel. It must look like I have no control in life, but truthfully it isn't just me -- I live with (and love) an adventurer who thrives on adding frenetic activity to everyday life as a means of feeling alive and productive. The only problem is, we end up with 15 projects all needing to be done NOW. So since hubby's work layoff in December he has decided to finish his master's degree, take on some handyman construction jobs, remodel/fix up our house for sale so we can remodel/fix up the house across the street. We are downsizing and trying to get in a better financial position and it will be a good move, but it's going to be alot of work and take ALOT of patience -- on my part.
After 27 moves and numerous remodels over 37 years of marriage, I am indeed a veteran of transition. But the house we are currently in has been home for 10 years and we have NEVER -- let me repeat that -- NEVER been in a place longer than 3.3 years. After moving so much, it is easy to understand why I have wanted to do a major purge lately and this move across the street will help do that, but I thought we had more time. But no, remember I live with the "adventurer" that likes adrenaline pushes and this man is currently without employment, so he sees every little task and project as a work deadline needing to be met. Currently, I have two bathrooms in total disarray, a kitchen full of boxes of items to sell and various boxes around the house full of things to go in storage. Then he says excitedly, "Oh yea, the family next door might be interested in our house and want to view it Saturday." So now it has to be show ready real quick :) What a man!
On top of the in-home dynamics, we leave for some work in Asia for nearly 3 weeks in 5 days. It might be a nice change of pace, but getting ready for that trip is being done in bits and pieces in corners of the house without dust. But yesterday before I left work when I stepped over a pile of construction debris in the hall, I let it all get to me and lost it. "Why do we have to try and do 15 things at once -- remodel, plan a trip, work, pack, move, have people over for dinner, show the house -- why can't we just work on one thing at a time?" I ranted at my poor hard-working husband. In my mind, I had just come off a very stressful time and now we were arranging life to be just as stressful and complicated. Self-pity's cape had turned me into a super-horror (not hero) that threatened to hurt and harm my poor well-meaning husband.
I tell you all this for two reasons:
1) Learning to run again - I made a commitment earlier this year to run a 5K once a week and time it. This was an effort to practice running without walking. I have become so used to taking walk breaks when I run that I think I have forgotten how it feels to run continuously. I also made the committment to run a 10K twice a month. This morning I did the 10K for the first time. IT WAS HARD! But it was a start. So I am learning and training to run again.
2) Training to run again is alot like training for life - As I was running my 10K this morning, I thought about how much I push myself to learn to do things better. Then I thought of hubby, trying to find meaning, purpose, fulfillment and continuing to better our life as he pushes to earn a little money, finish school, put labor into our house so we can get the most out of it, all so we can have a nicer living space across the street. Yes, it is going to be uncomfortable and a bit crazy as we attempt to store our stuff and pick a few things so we can live simply during the remodel. Yes, there will be days when I won't like it, when endurance and stamina run thin, and I want to give up. But really, doing another move and remodel isn't all that different than my training for a marathon. And both of these are very much like learning to live life well.
So this morning, I did a little "life training" like my 10K run - I leaned over to hubby as I headed out the door and thanked him for all he was doing. As I tried not to see the clutter near the remodeling going on in the bathroom (IT WAS HARD!) I kissed hubby and headed out the door. It was a start and I couldn't help think that I wouldn't be as productive as he is if I had just lost my job!
Just some random thoughts as I struggle through the early months of this year.
Oh and I found out yesterday that my cholesterol is not borderline high anymore -- it is high. I have to retest in 3 months and if it isn't down then it's time to medicate the problem. Not so excited about that. If I needed motivation to do all the things I know I SHOULD do, including lose weight, I now I have it.