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    AMBIENTRAYN   12,229
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Until I Was Worth It - a poem

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Until I Was Worth It

I was just not worth the worry,
I was not even worth the wait,
I didn't want good things to come to me,
I was frozen by self-hate.

The concern was appreciated,
but it only went to waste.
While people prayed I would change my life,
I was destroying it with haste.

Of course, I was no fool,
as I denied it, it was clear -
my body was crying out for help
but I refused to hear.

See, as a child I was mistreated.
As an adult I was abused.
After a life of constant suffering,
I was in the habit of feeling used.

But one day, an amazing thing happened,
and I felt fed up, or sick, or tired.
I decided to let myself be happy
and the sad version of me was fired.

"I do deserve to be happy,"
was a mantra I learned to repeat.
In the beginning I didn't believe it at all,
but I refused to give in to defeat.

Once I made the choice to change,
the real work had to begin.
I stopped thinking of life as a burden
and made it a race I could win.

I don't know if I'll ever be happy
when I've trained myself to be sad.
But the joy that I feel in finally trying
is the BEST feeling I've ever had.

by: AmbientRayn
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAMOMMY3 2/15/2013 3:30PM

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ONLYTEMPORARY 2/13/2013 9:07PM

    Awesome poem emoticon

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MRSGOAT9699 2/13/2013 12:47PM

    WOW!! That is a great poem! You are very talented! It's not easy to put those things into words for so many, like me. I teared up reading it b/c it describes how so many of us feel. So many of us have been there, too. I'm trying very hard to be positive and to treat myself better, but its not easy. I hope you don't mind if I come back to your poem from time to time, for motivation. emoticon emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 2/13/2013 10:18AM

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