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WILDXANGELS
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BLACK HOLE

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I know that none of us can walk this with me. I closed the door behind me, shut off the phone, and didn't emerge for 2 months. I just needed to be alone. Alone with my very personal grief and thoughts. I needed time to absorb what had happened and how I lost the love of my life bacause he chose drug addiction over me !!!and decide what I should do. I guess that, between crying jags, I was a bit catatonic. It is a bit overwhelming. Do what I have to do, let my friends know when they can help, and keep in mind that friends are here for me whether I want them to be or not. ,thank God
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v NASFKAB
    sorry for your loss
    1265 days ago
  • v KALLIE1958AR
    emoticon
    1284 days ago
  • v MOMFAN
    emoticon
    1286 days ago
  • v KRYS210
    Know you are in a grieving process. Please keep us posted on your progress - you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    1287 days ago
  • v SUGARSMOM2
    when you are ready to open the door we will be here waiting with open arms . I know what you are dealing with at least a small part . they arrested my granddaughter for drugs . she was the joy of my life . she in on a a spiral circle and bad choices . downward I can only wait until she declares the end .not i . so i wait . she is still a love to me but no longer do i think she can walk on water . she is human . when the phone rings at night i worry that they have found her dead from an overdose of her happy pills or shots . I can not talk any sense into her . out of breath trying . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon m
    1288 days ago
  • v RSSSLHB
    So emoticon for your loss
    1289 days ago
  • v MELMOMOF4
    emoticon
    1290 days ago
  • v MJREIMERS
    You can't control others. The addiction is blinding and that's all the brain and body can focus on. It sounds like you've had a very rough time, but you have broken out and can now reach out to others. emoticon YOU are a strong person and YOU deserve to be treated with the utmost respect! YOU can put yourself first and YOU can get through this!! Hang in there! There is always a downhill on the other side of a mountain. emoticon
    1290 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/14/2013 9:10:45 PM
  • v NGCHILD
    Very sorry for your loss.

    emoticon
    1290 days ago
  • v LINDAF49
    emoticon You are not alone
    emoticon You are worth comeing back from seclusion for
    emoticon You are going to make it
    emoticon you can do this one step at a time...I love the idea of 15 minutes per day of doing something you used to enjoy!!! YES!!! do it!! Even if you have to start with just 5 minutes...for me, it was picking up the needle and thread and making something beautiful again in counted cross-stitch
    emoticon keep writing bood blogs to heal yourself and to reach out to others and to mentor others who are in the deep dark holes next to yours.
    emoticon you are loved by God with an everlasting love bigger than anyone can imagine.
    1290 days ago
  • v PEZMOM1
    emoticon
    1290 days ago
  • v SILVER1369
    emoticon emoticon
    1290 days ago
  • v BEEJAY49
    My heart goes out to you. He didn't choose drugs over YOU, he chose them over his own life. You are in my prayers! God Bless and Hugs!
    1290 days ago
  • v HOUNDLOVER1
    I am sorry you are hurting. Don't feel that he chose drugs over you. People who use drugs don't have a voice after a while. Only the drugs speak. It still hurts of course, but know that it is only the drugs that chose against you.
    Birgit
    1291 days ago
  • v BLVINBUTTERFLYS
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v BECKYSFRIEND
    emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v -WRKNG2ABTTRME-
    emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v HOPEFULHIPPO
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    1291 days ago
  • v JLLOVETT
    emoticon
    “This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.”
    ― Corrie ten Boom,

    “Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”
    ― Corrie ten Boom

    emoticon

    1291 days ago
  • v 68ANNE
    I am so very sorry for your loss. You are not alone. *hugs*
    1291 days ago
  • v NESARIAN
    I am sorry for your pain. Addiction is a mental illness and requires more than love. Your choice to love yourself and move on may have been hard but is your first step. I am glad to see you are ready to reach out and feel the love of your friends. not an easy road to travel you can do it. Many hugs.
    1291 days ago
  • v TIME2BLOOM4ME
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v HEIDIC75
    emoticon and prayers
    1291 days ago
  • v GLC2009
    emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v PDSLIM
    Get yourself into a support group or therapy. Don't cut yourself off. I got help, mainly for someone to talk with, when in a bad patch. Didn't want to overburden friends.
    It did help a lot./
    1291 days ago
  • v DIDMIS
    Please read my blog just written today "You are Beautiful".
    emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v NEVERORNOW
    emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v GRACEFULJOURNEY
    I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. Addiction to drugs is a hard mistress to compete with. I was once in love with a man who ended up being addicted to meth. I went through a grieving process that I sure was as deep as if he had truly died.
    I had to make the choice to walk away and looking back am very glad I did. I no longer have any contact with him.

    Stay strong and love yourself. You deserve a man who will put you first.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v AVANELL
    The grieving process is different for each person, but the important part about it is that you go through it; not getting stuck in it is very important. You have made the first step to coming out of the grieving process by re-establishing communication with others. By choosing each day to move forward you will make it. There is hope for your future. God promises each one of us a good plan for our lives filled with hope and a good future. If you will reach out to Him He will show you the way to live in health and wellness fully enjoying the good plan that He has for your life. If you need help please feel free to contact me. I am praying for you.
    1291 days ago
  • v WOUBBIE
    (((hugs)))
    1291 days ago
  • v JUDYAASH
    I couldn't believe it when my daughter chose drugs over me and her children but she did and now she is gone. I guess because i was so busy raising her 5 kidsI got through it. I'm sure you will have mixed feelings about your loved one but with time it will get better. emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v MARTY728
    emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v YOADDICTION101
    You can not control his actions. He chose what he wanted and sadly it wasn't you. I understand the isolating and being cationic after a huge life changing event. After my love died from cancer I couldn't breath. Much less function as a normal human being.

    Glad to see you have emerged from that black hole. Each day is going to be hard but with determination and support by Friends and family you'll get better. May even want to join a group therapy in your town. I know that seems weird but that's where I get a lot of my support for my specific problems. Plus, hearing others struggles makes mine not seem as bad. If you call your local hospital they usually can provided you with information about group therapy.

    With Each Breath. With Each Moment. You Are Becoming Strong. emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v SPARKLISE
    Life can be so hard sometimes and we think we'll never see the light again! emoticon
    Give yourself time to grieve,but then try to go on,even if it's just a little bit at a time.

    My therapist gave me some advice a few years ago when I was really depressed that made me a lot better.
    Take 15 minutes in your day,starting today, and do something that you used to really enjoy.
    My first day I went for a walk in the woods and I had forgotten how it made me feel closer to God and alive.
    It took a few months (+ medication) to feel better,but those 15 minutes of positive things were something that helped me alot to make me feel alive and that life was worth living for.
    Now i'm off medication and on a journey to wellness and I could not imagine back then that I could be in this strong emotional place that I am today.

    Don't give up, you are worth it! emoticon
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • v JUSTAGRRL
    I understand knowing that there are people thinking about you, that it doesn't always help. My prayer is that you do what is right for you, and your body. Listen to yourself and take the time you need to regroup. Sometimes it can feel as though the down days will never end, and that you don't care if they do. I pray for the day when you can get up and face the day...one step at a time.

    My sincere thoughts are with you emoticon
    1291 days ago
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