What Would I do Without You

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What a year 2013 has been so far! It is almost as if a lifetime has passed by in only 42 days!

First my North Carolina sister lost her husband. This was followed by some good as I became 6 months free of cancer, my husband finished an agronomy class, took his certification exam and got his license. I continued to have good checkups and began to feel human again. I had enough hair to get a haircut!

The calendar turned over to to February. I was able to get on an exercise regime and boy did that give me strength and change my mood! I held my weight and I made many new friends here at SP. Cancer free days passed and a new CT scan scheduled. And once again my world came tumbling down! My cancer is back and even though it was going to happen...I feel so good that I thought that it might be in months not days before I would have chemo again. But now it may be as short as two weeks but if lucky, I will have a month!

I want to have a pity party in a way but my mood is not there! I still am looking forward to peddling, to writing this bog for some but a journal for me, and most important for me is that I plan to enjoy the friends that I have made on this journey!

As Gilda Radner said in her book: “What cancer does is, it forces you to focus, to prioritize, and you learn what's important.  I mean, I don't sweat the small stuff.  I used to get angry at cab drivers.  It's not worth it.... And when somebody says you have cancer, you realize it's all small stuff.  And if it weren't for the downside, everyone would want to have it.  But there is a downside."

You see cancer changes your life, and if you let it oftentimes for the better.

And when I get to Chemo I am going to follow Author Melissa Bank's take on chemo: “During chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been.  It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out.  You don't know how you'll answer the door when your groceries are delivered.  But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been.  You're clear.  Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception.  Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience.  Now it's instantaneous.”

So I want to thank each of you for standing tall with me. I hope that you can carry this in your heart as because of this friendship I have much to give back.

Talk to you later!

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    1833 days ago
    1834 days ago
    1834 days ago
    I am so sorry. I loved your blog though! You are a strong woman!
    1834 days ago
    I'm sorry that you're going through this again. I pray not only for healing of the body, but also of the mind and spirit. You know that you the entire "Kickin It To Cancer" team behind you to offer love, support, and encouragement.

    You'll beat this emoticon
    1834 days ago
    I am so sorry you have to go through this experience again. I pray God will give you strength and endurance as you work on your recovery once again. You are a very positive person which I know helps a lot in fighting cancer. God Bless You. emoticon emoticon You know you are not alone in your challenge. I believe you will be cancer free once again.
    1834 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your blog with me. It is so inspiring and uplifting to have people like you on the team. Hope
    1834 days ago
    I'm sorry that you may have to go through the chemo and fight the battle again after you've come so far. I'm new to the team so I haven't been around to encourage you through the first part of your journey, but I will pray for you now that God will restore your health and renew your strength as that of the eagle so you can soar above this and overcome it!

    God bless you!
    1834 days ago
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