What a year 2013 has been so far! It is almost as if a lifetime has passed by in only 42 days!
First my North Carolina sister lost her husband. This was followed by some good as I became 6 months free of cancer, my husband finished an agronomy class, took his certification exam and got his license. I continued to have good checkups and began to feel human again. I had enough hair to get a haircut!
The calendar turned over to to February. I was able to get on an exercise regime and boy did that give me strength and change my mood! I held my weight and I made many new friends here at SP. Cancer free days passed and a new CT scan scheduled. And once again my world came tumbling down! My cancer is back and even though it was going to happen...I feel so good that I thought that it might be in months not days before I would have chemo again. But now it may be as short as two weeks but if lucky, I will have a month!
I want to have a pity party in a way but my mood is not there! I still am looking forward to peddling, to writing this bog for some but a journal for me, and most important for me is that I plan to enjoy the friends that I have made on this journey!
As Gilda Radner said in her book: “What cancer does is, it forces you to focus, to prioritize, and you learn what's important. I mean, I don't sweat the small stuff. I used to get angry at cab drivers. It's not worth it.... And when somebody says you have cancer, you realize it's all small stuff. And if it weren't for the downside, everyone would want to have it. But there is a downside."
You see cancer changes your life, and if you let it oftentimes for the better.
And when I get to Chemo I am going to follow Author Melissa Bank's take on chemo: “During chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been. It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out. You don't know how you'll answer the door when your groceries are delivered. But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been. You're clear. Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it's instantaneous.”
So I want to thank each of you for standing tall with me. I hope that you can carry this in your heart as because of this friendship I have much to give back.
Talk to you later!