Wednesday, February 13, 2013
While I was at the pool for water Zumba, I complained to no one in general that I was small or short. I was having difficulty in the crowded pool finding a place deep enough that most of my body would be covered by water, but not too deep. A much taller woman next to me called me petite. It reminded me of a time when I was a young teen and my father told me that I was short but I wasn't petite. I was no heavier than than I am now. I'm petite. I claim it. I feel petite, small even at my highest weight.
I am definitely petite now. I'm 5'2" and a size 4. I don't look as petite as I am since I'm large busted. I should wear a 34D bra, but I wear a 36 or 38D since I have them in my drawer and I don't want buy new ones. Last time, I was this small: I wore 36C since those are much easier to find in the store than 34D. When I was a girl, even a young adult, I hated my chest. I often dreamed about being flat chested. I still think it would be nice if someone would drop ten thousand dollars on me so I could get a breast reduction. I suppose I could have done it when I had insurance. Most of the time, I realize it's a dream and I wouldn't waste the money on it if I had the money.
Being called "petite" made me remember a ton of insults my family (mostly my father and his mother) said to me calling me fat. I was 5'2" and never more than 136 pounds as a teen or young adult. I always had small hips so all my weight is in my front. I have broad shoulders, muscular arms, huge breasts and I had a rounder face when I was younger. I was told:
You have a pretty face.
How can you eat so little and be so fat.
You'll weigh a hundred and sixty by the time you're thirty. (I did when I was eight months pregnant. I told me father at that time that he said that to me as a kid and he swore that he didn't.)
You'll be so pretty if you lost weight.
And, of course. You may be short, but you aren't petite.
I suppose I should laugh at it. I'm called petite all the time.