Wednesday, February 13, 2013
I have not been at my best the last two weeks, far from it actually. On holidays, which sadly ended two weeks ago, I made a list of all the things I was going to commit to when I came back. I kept the list reasonable and I thought really achievable:
ē Eat within my calorie range
ē Exercise the amount suggested on sparks
ē Cut out the fake sugar drinks Ė both the soft and energy
ē Donít take work home
I should have left the last one off because within three days it upended everything else on my list. Sigh. I love my job but itís really intense with very long hours. Last week I was back having anxiety chest pains again. It made me really angry at both work and myself Ė work for pushing constantly and me for allowing myself to be sucked into the vortex again so quickly.
Iím really grateful for the opportunities Iíve been given but Iíve been close to burnout before and its not a pretty place. The stupid irony is that if I was fit and healthy Iíd be handling the stress better but, because Iím neither of those things, the same stresses are sending me running for the cookie jar which isnít helping.
So anyway this week Iíve been trying to set some boundaries. Iíve kept all of the above goals but have amended the work one to Ďonly work on my projects at homeí when necessary. I know this isnít great but trying to live a black and white life was not the answer either.
Iíve also started implementing a commitment based exercise plan. At the moment this only includes Pilates twice a week but Iíve deliberately chosen a very small class to go to with my sister. Both of these criteria call on my ingrained sense of responsibility rather than my willpower. So far it seems to be working and Iím already feeling the benefits of the workouts.
Iím still struggling to keep within my calories but Iím okay with not being perfect straight away.
Surprisingly the hardest thing on my list, other than the work thing, is cutting out the fake sugar drinks. Iíve really had to work at not caving in. Who knew they were so addictive?