I just want balance
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
So for the past week or so I haven't logged my food, tracked calories or weighed myself.
It started off bc I yet again went overboard and found the pressure of facing up to my actions very strong.
Then I overdid it again just to cope with the fact that I had yet again fallen off track.
Then I realised part of the problem is that my weight does really quirky things when I'm breastfeeding and even though I know that, it's really demoralising.
the other thing I realised is that, as has happened before when I was sticking to a 'lifestyle change' (aka diet), I start to think about who I want to be and that person is not tracking verything that goes into her mouth.
that person isn't overeating either
that person is at peace with her food and her body
not obsessing over whether or not x or y food group is good/evil
not obsessing over calories
At the moment food is an emotional crutch for me.
That is what I want to change.
I want food to just be food. Not an explosive bomb that I struggle to control everyday
I want to tackle my overeating, not food itself.