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    MAMA3MANY1   5,109
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I just want balance

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

So for the past week or so I haven't logged my food, tracked calories or weighed myself.

It started off bc I yet again went overboard and found the pressure of facing up to my actions very strong.
Then I overdid it again just to cope with the fact that I had yet again fallen off track.

Then I realised part of the problem is that my weight does really quirky things when I'm breastfeeding and even though I know that, it's really demoralising.
the other thing I realised is that, as has happened before when I was sticking to a 'lifestyle change' (aka diet), I start to think about who I want to be and that person is not tracking verything that goes into her mouth.
BUT...
that person isn't overeating either
that person is at peace with her food and her body
not obsessing over whether or not x or y food group is good/evil
not obsessing over calories

At the moment food is an emotional crutch for me.
That is what I want to change.
I want food to just be food. Not an explosive bomb that I struggle to control everyday
I want to tackle my overeating, not food itself.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEKITTYJAN 2/19/2013 2:21AM

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MOMMASLILGUNNY 2/13/2013 12:04PM

    Time will help. I know that JI was counting calories like crazy. At first I would lose weight then I would gain. I adjusted what I was eating and forcing myself to eat more. Yes More. I ate over 1900 calories yesterday and lost a full pound between then and today. Everyone is different and unfortunately the calorie count they give you here is really not tailored to your individual needs. I eat what I want when I am hungry. This morning I had apple cake for breakfast. I am fuller and have more energy than when I was eating 1 piece of toast with peanutbutter and strawberries. Although that is still my favorite breakfast. My point is, play around with what you are eating and when you are eating it and you may be surprised at the so called bad foods that work well for your body. And NO MARGARINE!!!! Eat real food. Butter and whole milk. So much better for you than skim and anything fake....
Best of luck...

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ENDERLI 2/13/2013 8:37AM

    I think a lot of us struggle with this. I know I do. I'm tired...so dammit I want to eat pancakes! I'm mad....and I'm eating this "____" because I deserve it!
I'm sad....and I'm gonna eat ____ because it will make me feel better.

I am not sure how to get over this. I have started with moderation. I am eating on smaller plates and dividing dinners in half. Sharing Desserts with my husband..or eating my meals from what's left on the kids plates(without having a plate of my own).

It's difficult to say the least. Breastfeeding means hormones. Hormones means emotions.... When you wean the wee one, it will help your body get back to it's emotional balance and it will also help with all those "stores" your body has been hanging onto. How old is the little one?

I hope it improves for you! You aren't alone. Many of us on SPARk are dealing with the same things.
*hugs*

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STONECOT 2/13/2013 6:30AM

    Try Paul McKenna. You can probably get his 'I can make you thin ' from the library. It tackles the very things you are talking about, I haven't binged since I read it. In fact you can't since there are no good or bad foods/ choices. You eat whatever you like, as long as you are hungry. You don't need any belief in it either, I was highly sceptical, and I lost nearly 40lbs. I had a wobble and went back to tracking and regained 20 lbs! So now I'm back on Paul again. And I'm losing again!

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GHOSTFLAMES 2/13/2013 4:58AM

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