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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

"Monopoly is getting a big makeover. They want to make the Monopoly game more modern and bring it up to date to reflect our current culture. Like, in the new version of Monopoly, the banker never goes to jail." -Jay Leno


"The Department of Justice is trying to block Anheuser-Busch from buying Corona. So they did what everyone else does got their older brother to buy it for them." -Jimmy Fallon


"You know when it comes to organic food, the USDA is very tough. You can't have anything that ends in 'eetos.'" -Craig Ferguson
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