Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Ever woke up one day and realized you didn't know who you were anymore?
I feel like that person. One moment, I was the girl that lost 100 pounds, trained for half marathons, loved eating healthy, and in the best shape I have been in ever. People said, "She's going places."
Since graduation, I feel I haven't gone anywhere, done anything. I still am the same part time job and do not qualify for any jobs out there. I would like to go back to college for an RN but I cannot afford it. All my accomplishments (weight loss, races) are things I have done in the last five years. Nothing in the six months, recent. My last race was in July. I thought about training for a full marathon. But the voice inside me says, "You can't. Look at your last attempt. You failed. You fail all the time." I know I need to do it because I need to believe in ME again. I just don't feel like I do anymore.
I know I am still the girl with the phoenix tattoo but feel I'm fading.