I think it might be working!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
12 days of alternating between hour-long cardio and strength exercises. This afternoon the tape measure said that I lost half an inch on my waist. After floundering around with exercises since November...finally, a tiny bit of progress. I know it's small, but I'm ecstatic. Results!! It's such a relief. Something is finally starting to work.
It's a nice mood boost. Work has been beyond draining, and I'm sure it will remain that way until spring break. This morning I had three kids in crisis simultaneously. I feel like I spent the whole day stamping out small fires. I so wasn't in the mood to exercise when I got home. I wanted to just put on my jammies and go to bed at 4:30. But I put in the video anyway. I always feel better afterward, and plus I think it's the only thing keeping me from really laying into the kids. It's very frustrating, dealing with kids that have so many emotional issues that they can't handle anything. Anyone who thinks that emotional disabilities aren't as severe as physical ones needs to hang out in my room for even just five minutes. A kid with ADHD and anger management issues can't keep a job, get a driver's license, or even go shopping without difficulties. It's rough. I come home every day feeling like I've been in a six-hour pillow fight where all the pillow cases have been filled with peanut butter.
Sometimes I have to sit in my car for a minute in the morning and kind of suck it up to have the will to go in and do my job. I have to try very hard to live entirely in the present...some of my students are sexual predators. Some of them hurt animals. Some of them are violent; some have criminal records. Their names pop up in the police blotter of the local paper. If I stop to think about the enormity of how awful it is, I'd probably break down and run screaming from the building. I have one student in jail for breaking and entering right now, and one's in for murder. I will most likely never see those two boys again. Lots more are in and out for misdemeanors. They go in and out of mental health facilities. The system just chews them up and spits them back out again. It's soooo hard.
So yeah, I think the exercise is doing me tons of benefits, since I have a tendency to absorb their pain like a sponge.
Half an inch!