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    ISAVEDME80   17,965
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Praying

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

As many know next month is 2 years since I saw my mom die and since I let myself drown into a well of loosing who I was.
I'm a lost person right now. I ask God for him to take away my anger and my hurt and my sadness. I know God has a reason for me in this world...which is why I keep chugging along....but I wish he would show me this reason because I'm only human and I can only handle so much.
I'm trying to heal so hard...It seems like healing from one thing to another my whole life...I just want to be able to be happy...I know God wants me to be happy......I'm so lost...I feel like the world is against me....I have my grandma as far as people I talk to on a daily basis....I've shut myself out from the rest of the world because I am so idk......I've began to try to heal, but I need help God... I just do not want to do it alone anymore...
So I guess I will keep on praying for myself...hoping that one day I will become strong enough to beat this and be the person that I used to be or at least the person I thought I was.
I know I'm strong somewhere deep inside all this weakness.
I'm so glad I have God, for without him I prob wouldn't be here right now...
I am so tired...
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILORITA 2/15/2013 6:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon You are not alone

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BERRY4 2/14/2013 2:05AM

    I don't know if you are into websites or books, but the following have really spoken to me in terms of dealing with pain.

http://onethousandgift
s.com/
http://onethousandgif
ts.com/the-book
emoticon

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ZOORHO 2/13/2013 10:52PM

    I'm so sorry about your loss. I do hope you will also seek some help from others in your same place. My dad died in July some days I can still lose my breath thinking about it.

I'm in a grief group at my church. It is helping.


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_SINGFORLIFE_ 2/13/2013 6:55PM

  Praying for you...it is so so so hard to lose your mother. The pain may be so deep because your love was so deep. There will come the day when it will not be so sharp. There will come a day when you can revisit those memories again, without it cutting so deep. Moment by moment, just keep moving.
Linda

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LINDAF49 2/13/2013 6:07PM

    Oh I wish I could just come by and hug you in real person ...You are not alone...So many of us have lost our Mom's and I still tear up every time I talk about her...but I DO talk about her to anyone who knew her, I look at the pictures I have of her and and I thank God for giving me such a good mom.

I would encourage you to love on other people...do not close yourself away from them...find the ones who were dear to your Mom and ask if you can come to their home and talk about her...talk to others in the family older and younger ones...Please, please please don;t close your heart to others that also want to remember your Mom and honor her through those good memories...sure you will cry but those tears are healing all in their own.
Hugs to you dear one...Keep sharing the pain, the aloneness, the hollow dark times, but also tell us about her favorite color, flower, song, day, food'''anything that is important to you about your Mom...we care and share. Hugs. Linda in Washington state.

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WINDSWEPTACRES 2/13/2013 10:46AM

    Sometimes we don't know the effect we have on the people we touch in our daily lives. You are an Instrument of God every day, and He is using you to change lives. Don't allow yourself to become discouraged because you can't see the results. He does.

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WALLAHALLA 2/12/2013 11:16PM

    His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
I was mad a God for a long time after my mom was raped. Took me a long time, and a lot of mouthing off to get over it. I still get ticked again every once in awhile. We are so blessed to serve a God who welcomes all of our emotions and invites us to spill it all out to him "without ceasing". He knows it all anyway, so we may as well spill our guts...the good, the bad, and the ugly. He can and will make sense of it. Eventually, we get it.

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PROUD-GRANDMA 2/12/2013 11:02PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WORDGIRL830 2/12/2013 10:13PM

    May God bless you. Remember that through God, when you are weak, you are strong. I am praying for you as you deal with your loss.

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STARCROSS 2/12/2013 9:55PM

  I can hear your pain. I am sure I would feel the same as you if such a thing happened to me. I admire your strength in carrying on. I can see from the comments that you made and that others have offered that you are not alone and that is so important.
If I may offer something that helped me when I was going through my "dark night of the soul." Let go. Surrender. You can not heal yourself. I had to be literally brought to my knees to get that straight. God heals. He fixes the broken hearts and broken lives. And I am here to say asking God to heal your pain and confusion worked for me. It wasn't pretty easy or fast but it worked.This my favorite quote from that period of my life..."Be still and know that I am God."

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2BDYNAMIC 2/12/2013 9:31PM

    Please know you are NOT alone ................... No .......... God does not want to see you hurting or suffering .......... He is kind and compassionate and full of mercy ............ and I am so sorry you lost your Mom ................ I know 2 years is not that long .................... Do you have any friends or close ones who has a church that nurtures one another ? ............................. We are not expected to "go it alone" ......... But get help and love from one another .................... Do not give up and til you find a place that welcomes you and you feel love and accepted ............ I like to snuggle into the Psalms ................ there you will find solace in the loving arms of the Lord ............. he loves you deeply, more than you know ............................ Let Him love you and I am glad you reached out ................... you need and deserve love ......... emoticon

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CLPURNELL 2/12/2013 8:15PM

    emoticon

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HOLLYM48 2/12/2013 8:01PM

    emoticon
So sorry for your loss. Keep on pushing to get thru this, you will survive.
Thinking of you at this sad time in your life.

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RDGISME 2/12/2013 6:47PM

    Prayer does mighty things and you will remain in my constant prayers! Grieving is not an easy thing to go thru, but you deserve tons of credit for working thru it continually and with God in your corner! Again, I will keep you in prayer!

Yours because His,
~Becci

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COCK-ROBIN 2/12/2013 6:34PM

    You are not alone. My prayers and love go with you.

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FOOFIE17 2/12/2013 6:30PM

    My husband died two months ago. You are not alone. We are in this together.


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