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BOVEY63
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What a difference a few hours can make

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I was just reading over my last blog and canít believe how life can change on a dime; and send a person spiraling downward.

I was so excited to tell you about the new man in my life, and how well things were going. In a matter of a few hours, laughter became tears and soft words became angry and hurtful. We met as planned for lunch with my youngest son and I couldnít have asked it to go any better. They hit it off, found several things in common and we did a lot of laughing.

My son and I did a few errands on the way back home; stopped at an estate sale where we found some great deals on things we needed (not wanted but really needed Ė a holder for the garden hose and a shovel for digging holes to plant trees and shrubs in). By the time we arrived home and I sent a text to let the man know we were back home, a cyclone (started by his ex-wife) was in full swing and the chances of continuing our relationship was hanging in the balance. I canít go into details but because of the possible ramifications of her actions, he may have to move further away and being able to spend time together would be nearly impossible. Neither of us is well-to-do as far as money, and travel would be too expensive for either of us on a regular basis. Due to the anger and stress he was under, and the hurt I felt, we both said things we shouldnít have. Talking that was once so easy has become strained and uncomfortable Ė both afraid to say what we really feel because we donít want to cause any more strain on an already fragile connection. I feel like I have been hit by a semi-truck. Now all I can wonder is why this wonderful man was brought into my life if he was only going to be taken away from me so soon. I just donít know what to think or do.
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Update: After a very long phone conversation, things are looking brighter. Some issues still need to be resolved, and could take 2-3 weeks before we know what will happen as far as where he will be living.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v LESLIES537
    I hope everything works out for you! I believe everyone we meet crosses our path for a reason. God has His reason to have brought him into your life....just gotta trust Him. :) Keep your head up, sweetie. emoticon
    1253 days ago
  • v IUHRYTR
    Just as you were celebrating your life going so well you are thrown a curve ball. Stay positive and expect the best. emoticon -- Lou
    1258 days ago
  • v MYRTLE811
    I do hope you will be able to work things out so that stress between you is at a minimum. You have a lot on your plate; don't add more to it. Think through what is the best for you this time and as much as it might hurt at first, stay with your course of action.
    I hope everything works out for you.
    1259 days ago
  • v RUNNER12COM
    Hang in there. Hopefully, this will work out for you both.
    1262 days ago
  • v CODEMAULER
    Thank you for updating the blog AND stopping by my SparkPage. As you can see, many of us care about you and are genuinely interested in having things work out for the best.

    Take care of yourself, especially during this tricky time!!

    emoticon
    1262 days ago
  • v OTEN36
    So sorry to hear about your new relationship.
    How are you doing today?
    I'll be thinking about you.
    emoticon
    Dee
    1262 days ago
  • v LIVINGFREE19
    So sorry to hear that!
    I was hoping this time it was really going to happen for you with a man. Well, there is always another chance. maybe you can find someone who lives closer or things will turn around again with this guy.
    Big emoticon Leanne!
    1262 days ago
  • v CHUBRUB3
    Hugs my friend. Praying it all sorts out for you.
    Love you Leanne.
    Angela
    PS. I love what Marty said. Sound advice.
    1263 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/12/2013 11:39:46 PM
  • v FRAN0426
    I am so sorry you are going this this pain. To have this happen just when all was going aso smoothly for the two of you. Yes hateful words were spoken by both of you, that is the simplist to fix. However, does he really need to move farther away form the ex? He will never by rid of her messing in his life if he doesn't stand up for himself where she is concerned. I know that sounds harsh but if he would like to continue a relationship with you , the two of you should have a good heart to heart talk. Wishing all the beat and hope the outcome is one that will be the best for you.
    1263 days ago
  • v CODEMAULER
    I wish your special day had ended better. You are certainly making a lot of deposits in the karma bank. You deserve joy and happiness... why isn't the universe complying?!

    I guess there's someone really awesome that is on their way to you. Whether it's this person or another, apparently the time isn't right yet. That sounds lame, but we have to hold onto hope.

    emoticon
    1263 days ago
  • v PCOH051610
    Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened but please don't do anything rash. I am thinking about you and sending out hugs emoticon
    1263 days ago
  • v RSTM99
    So sorry to hear your story! It just sucks :( Take care and I hope it works out, either way that can let you nove forward.
    1263 days ago
  • v MARTY728
    I too feel your pain. For whatever reason the ex-wife started the cyclone. It might be that the ex-wife will always start cyclones for this man to deal with. Some people are like that. The key may be that if you want it to work, you may have to be there for him and support him unconditionally until this storm passes and let him know that if he wants, you will be there for future storms.

    Or leave things the way they are see what happens when the storm passes. This approach is the "If it meant to be then it will be" philosphy.

    Either way the key is that you made yourself open to a new man and it happened.

    Remember you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

    I hope that it all works out for the best.

    1263 days ago
  • v JEWELMOTI
    Give yourself permission to feel what you need to feel and remember what is meant to be, will be. Keep an open heart. As you said, things change quickly. emoticon
    1263 days ago
  • v AJB121299
    one step at a time and take what you have learned and will learn to heart
    1263 days ago
  • v MAMISHELI53
    Oh, dear - I feel your pain. I was widowed several months and in no rush to remarry but hooked up with someone who'd been a friend and it seemed we'd be more. We became engaged. But this was a LONG distance relationship - he lives in Peru, and here I am in NY. And he has an ex who started some problems, and we hit so many obstacles - and finally after much prayer I broke up with him. So here it's the day before Valentine's Day and I have no sweetheart.
    My comfort has been Christ, and knowing that this experience will enable me to relate to young folks who experience this kind of thing with regularity. It was kind of a review course in the pain of breaking up.
    I pray that whatever happens, you may have peace, and grow in your appreciation of your worth. And blessings on your way to a healthy lifestyle.
    1263 days ago
  • v DLBROWN93
    We learn something from every relationship. One day you will realize why you were in a relationship with this person and what it taught you. emoticon
    1263 days ago
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