In a bit of a funk (rant)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Iíve been doing really great for the past week. I had one drink this Saturday night after one of my burlesque troupeís performances because we were all handed a drink ticket. Then afterwards I had my cheat meal at taco bell (gross, I know, but itís an old favorite). Aside from that, my eatingís been healthy & great & Iíve been hitting the gym every morning at 5am. For the most part Iím feeling really energetic & positiveÖ
Itís just hard. With a full-time job that asking more & more of me every day, a boyfriend at home that I sort of feel obligated to spend time with (donít get me wrong. I love him & I love spending time with him, but sometimes Iíd just rather study or do something to move my life forward. Heís already on the fast track to where he wants to be in life & doing what he wants to do). Itís so hard to find time to study for a career in fitness & stay on top of the housework. Jonís been really helpful by cooking meals, but something just feels off. Tonight our mutual friend Heather is coming over & Iím dreading it. She talks way too much & sheís one of my friends that drinks pretty much every night (for those catching up, Iím cutting down A LOT on drinking lately). We even told her not to bring any wine because weíre cutting back & she said ďOh, well, Iíll just bring a bottle for myself.Ē Is it just me or is that rude?
Iím not trying to make a self-fulfilling prophecy, but Iíd so rather be studying, organizing, or rehearsing for the gigs my troupe has this weekend than having her over. I pretty much only agreed to have her over because both her & Jon are of the ďSince weíre friends, we should hang out all the timeĒ mentality. I guess Iím just a bit more of a loaner. Iím used to having friends I donít see for month & sometimes years & being fine. I just hate doing social things on weeknights. UGH. Sorry for the rant. I just really donít want her to come over tonight. I want to stick to my routine. Come home, eat dinner, study, practice, bed, gym, work, rinse, repeat.
Hopefully she wonít overstay her welcome. I need to get to bed by 8 to be up by 4:30 for the gym. Donít know why I feel like such a grouch right now. Maybe a snack will help. Iíve got some Greek yogurt & mango calling my nameÖ