In a bit of a funk (rant)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I’ve been doing really great for the past week. I had one drink this Saturday night after one of my burlesque troupe’s performances because we were all handed a drink ticket. Then afterwards I had my cheat meal at taco bell (gross, I know, but it’s an old favorite). Aside from that, my eating’s been healthy & great & I’ve been hitting the gym every morning at 5am. For the most part I’m feeling really energetic & positive…
It’s just hard. With a full-time job that asking more & more of me every day, a boyfriend at home that I sort of feel obligated to spend time with (don’t get me wrong. I love him & I love spending time with him, but sometimes I’d just rather study or do something to move my life forward. He’s already on the fast track to where he wants to be in life & doing what he wants to do). It’s so hard to find time to study for a career in fitness & stay on top of the housework. Jon’s been really helpful by cooking meals, but something just feels off. Tonight our mutual friend Heather is coming over & I’m dreading it. She talks way too much & she’s one of my friends that drinks pretty much every night (for those catching up, I’m cutting down A LOT on drinking lately). We even told her not to bring any wine because we’re cutting back & she said “Oh, well, I’ll just bring a bottle for myself.” Is it just me or is that rude?
I’m not trying to make a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’d so rather be studying, organizing, or rehearsing for the gigs my troupe has this weekend than having her over. I pretty much only agreed to have her over because both her & Jon are of the “Since we’re friends, we should hang out all the time” mentality. I guess I’m just a bit more of a loaner. I’m used to having friends I don’t see for month & sometimes years & being fine. I just hate doing social things on weeknights. UGH. Sorry for the rant. I just really don’t want her to come over tonight. I want to stick to my routine. Come home, eat dinner, study, practice, bed, gym, work, rinse, repeat.
Hopefully she won’t overstay her welcome. I need to get to bed by 8 to be up by 4:30 for the gym. Don’t know why I feel like such a grouch right now. Maybe a snack will help. I’ve got some Greek yogurt & mango calling my name…