Tuesday, February 12, 2013
When I was a teenager and my doctors recommended insulin pump for me, I always said no, because I hated the idea of having a huge machine attached to my body, where everybody could see it Ė and, so, everybody could see my illness. Of course, I had heard good things about it, but I refused to even consider it. Until August 2011, when my gastroparesis started really to mess with my blood glucose, and I heard that insulin pump would be the best way to try and control the ups and downs irregular digestion causes.
First, I got a feeling for the pump by censoring; I didnít have any insulin in the pump, but its function was to censor my blood glucose levels 24/7 for one week. This censoring period convinced everybody about gastroparesis, and let me practice having a pump attached to me all the time. After this, in October, I went to hospital for a couple of days.
That was a decision I have never regretted! Firstly, the pump isnít a huge machine, itís only the size of a cell phone. I can easily carry it in my bra. It doesnít bother my sleep, either, because Iím so used to it. Secondly, it doesnít prevent me from doing anything and I can take it off anytime. Also, I am not ashamed of showing it to others. Of course, there is nothing to be ashamed of, but it was still a hard issue for a young woman to consider. However, now that Iím familiar with the pump, I donít care whether people see it or not, and I donít hesitate to use it in public. It is my pancreas, a gift and a miracle, and Iím happy to have it. My two nieces and two nephews have been very curious about it, and the three-year-old niece wants to wear a fanny back to pretend that she is having one of those ďbleeping inselemen thingsĒ as well. I wouldnít give up my pump for anything, and I am very grateful to have it as I know it costs a lot to society to fund.