Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I titled this ?? because I'm full of questions, the same question I have been asking myself since last year this time! Do I keep losing weight, to do I stop, maintain and be happy with where i am at? I honestly go back and forth.
Last year this time, I decided to stay happy with where I was at and maintain, plus, I'd seemed to hit a plateau and wasn't sure I had it in me to keep working at it. I'm at my lowest weight since I don't know when, junior high? AND, as of now, a year and a half later, maintaining it- with a couple pounds here or there of fluctuation back and forth. I'm currently at a BMI of 22.5, that's just shy of smack in the middle of healthy BMI, which is where I'd LOVE to be. However, at this rate, I'm asking myself, will it ever be possible, without starving myself that is.
A good friend pointed out, you can do whatever to lose the weight, but you want to keep it off, and at a certain point you need to figure out what weight it is that you know you can maintain and be happy. To get down to say 21.5 BMI, which for me we're just talking 5 more pounds, from 115 to 110, I don't know what it would take. I've been trying like hell the last few weeks, but I'm stuck at 114.5-115. Last year I got to 113.5 and maintained many months, really I'd be THRILLED with that, but now it seems my body is fighting me. And I think to myself, yes I want to eat healthy 90-95% of the time, forever...but I know I can't and won't be happy if to get to and stay at 110, I need to eat perfect 100% of the time, of course while also working out like gang-busters. WHICH, is what I've been doing lately!
I'm working out 5-6 days a week, about 4.5-5 hrs a week. That's an increase from a couple months ago. I am tracking food every day and based on calculations, SHOULD be losing a half pound a week, not asking for too much here...AND, I switch up my workouts EVERY Day. My body should not be used to what I'm doing, should it? I alternate days with strength mixed with some cardio to days that are strictly cardio. I've even added back in some low intensity stuff but good for the core like pilates and yoga. AND, my running pace has dramatically improved the last 8 weeks. I'm really kicking butt and enjoying it. I just don't know what ELSE I can do? I've been buying and eating WAY more fruits and veggies, cut down on processed stuff quite a bit...and started with drinking green tea again and a greek yogurt every day which is awesome for my flat tummy.
SO, my body looks pretty amazing and I feel pretty great. Other than I could probably get a little bit more rest at night. Some days I do better than others. I don't think I'm at the point though sleep would affect my weight. Maybe I'm working out TOO MUCH? Honestly, I rarely take a "day off" any more, I feel guilty and get bored. I'm thinking yes, some muscle has been gained, but I don't know for sure. So, my last entry I said, hey, no limits! I can do whatever, and now I'm thinking, maybe it's not about limits, maybe it's about just living each day, eating healthy, being active, and being happy and ENJOYING this body I have worked nearly 3 yrs for. I know the last time I'd gained weight after having the baby, I thought, why didn't I enjoy my time where I was so thin and healthy? Instead of being so hard on myself! I know some people say, throw out that scale. I don't know if I can do that just yet. But, I really wish I could just decide to be happy with my body. I'm thin, I'm healthy, but why is it we always want more?