Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I've been doing some "self evaluating" lately. Three things need to be addressed so that I may move forward in my journey of becoming more healthy. Funny thing is, I realize my "quirks" and that "it's all in my head" but still it is amazing to me that I fall into these patterns or traps, if you will.
1. I need to start making myself a priority. This has been an issue since childhood. I aim to please, love to help others, buy for others, take care of others. And in the end there is nothing left for me. Or when I try to do something for myself I feel tremendous GUILT!!!!
2. I LOVE FOOD!!!!! I love the color, the texture, the smell, and taste of food. I love trying new recipes. I love preparing food. Food is not fuel to me.....it's a pleasure. (very very dangerous pleasure)
3. Paranoia......I am so paranoid, that I think people are talking about me and making fun of me, especially at the gym. "look at that fat girl" or " wow she's wearing that? looks like she painted on those paints" Meanwhile in reality I KNOW most people are just as self absorbed... their not worrying about how I look but how they look.
I realize these 3 issues won't be fixed overnight, but I am aware of them. I face the fact that I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS!