Tuesday, February 12, 2013
We have an appointment tomorrow morning for hubby's prostate biopsy. We are both nervous, him more than me, after all, it is HIS body that will be violated. He hates going to the doctor, hates it with a passion. When I say "WE" have an appointment, that is because we are in this together. He goes to the doctor with me and I go with him. Doctor's offices can be scary places and if I can be any support to him, I will be there.
I'm a big fan of all the doctor shows on TV. I remember watching one where the action was in the Emergency Room (might have been ER, or Grey's Anatomy), and one of the older doctors told the younger doctor referring to the people they were seeing, "They come in here on the worst day of their lives, and you try to make it better." I have been to the ER a few times and they weren't necessarily the WORST days of my life, but I will say I have had better days, and it's nice when the personnel there help you feel better. Thank God for doctors and nurses taking care of all of us. We hate them, they scare us, and we love them. It's complicated!
I've been struggling with too much snacking once again. I bought some 100-calorie snacks and it's too easy to have one since they're in my kitchen. And then I have another one. And a little while later, yet another one. I think the secret to limiting my snacking is to QUIT buying those 100-calorie snacks. I'm going to stick with apples, oranges, grapes and bananas. I don't really snack on bananas though. I have one every morning with breakfast.
Now the scale shows my excess snacking, and once again, I have to get STRONG and SELF-DISCIPLINED and get the numbers to come back down where I feel safer. I'm still below my goal weight of 160, but getting way too close to that magic number for comfort. I'm really looking forward to my two-year maintenance anniversary, coming up on April 15, 2013, and there is NO WAY I'm going to let myself miss that important day by going over my goal weight. The Woman's World Magazine will be on the stands a week from Thursday (2/21), and that is good incentive to drop some of the weight I have gained. It's amazing how FAST I can gain...I went from 153.4, the number I'd been hitting for several weeks pretty consistently, to 156.4 in about two days. TWO DAYS of too much snacking. I never let myself binge, or eat everything I wanted during that time. So that is even more scary, when I think of how BAD the weight gain could be if I hadn't practiced some restraint!!
Before we went to New York in November for the Today Show I got down to 149.8, and then again after the New Year, I saw that number on the scale again, and felt really good that I didn't gain over Christmas. But today, weighing seven pounds over that 149.8, I'm feeling fat, out of control and mad at myself.
It is supposed to be in the mid-40's here today, so I see a walk in my future. I correspond via e-mail with a cousin of my husbands. Her name is Zola and she's in her 80's and is a little tiny lady, but so vibrant and active and leading a wonderfully full life, which is my goal. She walks a mile, TWICE every single day. All winter she walks--and she lives in Iowa--where it gets just as cold as Nebraska does. She is a good role model, because I know she didn't get to be healthy in her 80's, without some work. She is careful about what she eats and she gets out there and moves her body every single day. When I grow up, I want to be Zola!!!