Why?

Why oh why oh why?

A few years ago I lost the weight I wanted to lose and got to my goal weight, but I wasn’t happy. WHY?

Looking back, I think I’m making sense of it. I am realising that the dissatisfaction and self criticism was still there, even though I had lost the weight.

Maybe I had expected to be a different person once I was slimmer and that all my problems would be solved? Mistake.

It’s true that I put just a little bit of weight back on and then maintained a fairly healthy weight for a good eighteen months. I was generally OK with my body, but not totally happy.

Is it possible to be totally happy and at peace with your body? I have moments of it but they don’t last.

I’ve been concentrating on making peace with myself emotionally. Healing, releasing pain, changing negative thought patterns etc. I really believe that unless I can love myself completely, I’ll never be happy, no matter what weight I am.

Why do we let ourselves be brainwashed by glamorous pictures and ideas of perfection? If I lose eighteen pounds I’m still not going to look like a model. So, why do we somehow expect it? It’s a bit daft.

Even if I did look like a model, that wouldn’t make me happy either. Happiness comes from somewhere else.

As Davina says, “I’ll never have Kylie’s bum but I can have a slimmer, more toned version of me”. It’s time to be realistic about this weight loss thing…

XXX