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My father passed away tonight.


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I am in a little bit of shock right now. I went to the gym tonight, came home and showered, got out, and the phone rang almost immediately. It was a nurse at a hospital telling me my father had passed away and that I needed to come to the hospital immediately. Needless to say, I was pretty hysterical. I am very fortunate that I have close friends, and my best friend came right over and drove me to the hospital.

My poor stepmom had been with him the whole time. He collapsed suddenly at home and she immediately called 911. The paramedics tried to resuscitate him at home and while en route to the hospital. He had probably died long before getting to the hospital. The medical examiner said the cause of death was a heart attack.

I got to see my father and held his hand for the last time. I thanked him and told him I loved him.

I was supposed to see my dad yesterday, but between bad weather and him not feeling well (he had been feeling tired for a few days), we decided to reschedule. We talked on the phone, though. I am glad that our last words to each other were, "I love you." I am glad that we were always open and honest--there is nothing that I feel was left unsaid. If nothing else, I am glad to not have regrets about my relationship with my dad. When he left our family when I was very young, there was a good chance that I would not really know my dad. After my brother died, though, he realized that being a father was the most important duty he had. We became very close and have always lived near each other. We saw each other frequently.

I will probably be doing a lot of the funeral planning this week. I want to plan a celebration worthy of such a generous, amazing, and brilliant man. My dad pushed me, inspired me, and loved me. I am glad he knew that.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANNIE50 2/20/2013 11:02PM

    Oh, Erin, I am so very sorry that you are grieving the loss of your father. Your blog, as always, was beautiful. It was poignant and is a lovely tribute to your father, but also to your loving heart. You must be exhausted at this point, after all the arrangements on top of the grief and loss. I wish you peace of mind.

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TRAVELGRRL 2/18/2013 7:57PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad you had a good relationship and "nothing was left unsaid." Take care of yourself during this difficult time. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/18/2013 3:00PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. emoticon

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NEVERGIVEUP 2/14/2013 10:51AM

    So sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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TINAJANE76 2/13/2013 6:26AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that you can find some comfort in the many happy memories you had together.
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CRABADA 2/12/2013 9:40PM

    I'm heartbroken for you - just so very sorry.

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C.

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DOODIE59 2/12/2013 9:02PM

    Oh, Erin, I am so very sorry to hear this. Hugs to you.
I would also like to say, as others have said, that is is fantastic that you were able to say good-bye without regrets, and that you had a strong and loving relationship with him. That is a rich blessing.
Deirdre

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 2/12/2013 3:25PM

    I am very sorry to hear about your loss. How very sad for you. It's never easy to lose a parent. When my mother died, I wrote her a fantastic obituary that I knew she would have liked.

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SUSIEMT 2/12/2013 3:22PM

    I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for writing this blog. It made me feel good. Why I don't know but for some reason it just plain made me feel good. Thank you!

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MARTY728 2/12/2013 12:26PM

    Sorry for your loss. emoticon emoticon

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ARCHIMEDESII 2/12/2013 11:56AM

    emoticon

I am so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your father. My condolences to you and your family.

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SASSISPRING 2/12/2013 11:47AM

    emoticon My deepest condolences on the passing of your father. He sounded like a great man. Those memories you'll cherish forever in your heart. His spirit will surround you with love. My sympathy to you and your family.

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BECKYSRN 2/12/2013 10:55AM

    Erin, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad that the last time you spoke you were able to tell him you love him.
I lost my grandma on Saturday, and the last time I talked to her on New Year's Day I told her I love her....
Your dad died knowing that he was loved very much, and I hope that gives you some comfort. Hold on to the good memories and know that he will keep you wrapped in his love.
Blessings to you....
Becky

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SIRIRADHA1 2/12/2013 10:50AM

    This may sound a little weird, but...
I loved your blog. I am glad that your last words were kind and loving. I am grateful that you had him in your life and that you cared for one another. Every bit of love and beauty in this lifetime are treasures.

My FIL, a wonderful, wonderful man died about a year ago. It gave me a great appreciation for the nobility of gentle goodness.

Peace be with you and with your family.

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SPOONGIRLDEB 2/12/2013 10:49AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Know that all your SparkFriends are thinking of you!
emoticon mm emoticon

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KSCHRAUT 2/12/2013 10:47AM

    Hugs!

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BRIDGIEEE 2/12/2013 10:20AM

    emoticon

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VERONICAVW_140 2/12/2013 10:14AM

    Praying for you and your family. emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 2/12/2013 9:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHLOE453 2/12/2013 9:54AM

    I am so very sorry about the loss of your father, you are in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUSAN727 2/12/2013 9:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

My sincerest sympathy!

Susan

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THOMS1 2/12/2013 9:43AM

    emoticon emoticon

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EVERSTEPH 2/12/2013 9:21AM

    So sorry to hear that. Thinking of you. emoticon

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BROOKLYN_BORN 2/12/2013 9:17AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang on to the last words you shared.

I lost my Dad 15 years ago at Christmas. When I feel sad, I remember the last words we shared and it helps.

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BEACHBUM4LIFE 2/12/2013 9:01AM

    So sorry to hear about your father!

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 2/12/2013 8:28AM

    Oh lady, I am so sorry. You're in my thoughts today.

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PUPPYWHISPERS 2/12/2013 8:18AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies to your family during this difficult time.

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HIPPICHICK1 2/12/2013 7:53AM

    My sincerest condolences to you, my dear. I'm so very happy that you have no regrets and that your relationship with him was good and strong. That's a beautiful thing. Sending you love and healing vibes.
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MISSUSRIVERRAT 2/12/2013 7:14AM

    So very sorry for your loss. So glad you were in a good place with him before he passed.

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CAT609 2/12/2013 7:05AM

    I am truly very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time~

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HEALTHYL1 2/12/2013 6:59AM

    So very sorry for your loss. emoticon

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EMFRAPPIER 2/12/2013 6:46AM

    So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

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JSALERNO 2/12/2013 6:27AM

    emoticon emoticon I KNOW HOW BAD IT IS. I LOST MY DAD SEVERAL YEARS AGO AND I STILL GET DEPRESSED SOMETIMES WHEN I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I MISS HIM BECAUSE WE WERE SO CLOSE.

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PHEBESS 2/12/2013 6:18AM

    Big hugs, sweetie. And I'm so sorry for your loss. It will take a while for life to seem real again - just surround yourself with loved ones, and be good to yourself.

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NCSUE0514 2/12/2013 5:08AM

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. May God bless and strengthen you in the days to come.

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SHOSHANA192 2/12/2013 5:05AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. emoticon

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NEEDTOBESLIM3 2/12/2013 4:59AM

    Very sorry that your Dad has passed. Very, very glad that you were so close and showed such love for each other, blessings, Dee. XX

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APED7969 2/12/2013 4:42AM

    So sorry to hear about your dad. Sending hugs your way emoticon

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ARNETTELEE 2/12/2013 3:58AM

  Sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose a loved one!

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JILLYBEAN25 2/12/2013 3:55AM

    emoticon emoticon My heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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SYZYGY922 2/12/2013 3:51AM

    I'm so sorry about your family's loss. I'll be thinking of you.

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