Running & Worry...
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I have been wanting to become a runner since...well, since I can remember. I think it's because it has always been something I have never been able to do, even when I was thinner. I do struggle with my breathing, but there are professional athletes that have the same challenges, but succeed. I have been thinking about this more and more...for too many years, I have listened to people who have discouraged me from even trying. I am not sure why I listen, but I think it has something to do with the part of me that is concerned I may not make it. The part of me that doubts my success...the part of me that has seen me fail before and thinks that I may repeat that failure.
However...that voice has gotten me nowhere. It has gotten me to overweight. I am here because I chose not to try. I am here because its easier to be lazy (when it comes to exercise). I am here because I listened to people about what I should do with my life, instead of paying attention to what I want to do. Now...I can't for the life of me remember what I wanted to be when I was a little girl. I even asked my mom if I ever said anything. She said no. Even from an early age, I was trying to please others. I didn't want to want for myself. I think I considered it selfish....my mom always discouraged that. We were never supposed to say anything good about ourselves because other people would think we were show-offs or self-centered.
It has taken a while, but I am learning there is a difference between being self-centered and having a positive self-confidence. And...I need to start living my life, which includes doing a few things that I want to do. I have worried too long about what other people think or about what they may say. It's time to start doing something that makes me happy, in a healthy way! Training for a half-marathon is a great goal to set...it is something that I can work up to, is good for me and is something I could never see myself doing until now.
Its time to stop worrying and start running! Not only will my heart feel better, it will be happy too!