Monday, February 11, 2013
So I brought up a bin of clothes from the storage room downstairs. The bin said "16" but it is really a mix of 14s and 16s that I tossed in about a year ago after not being able to wear most of the clothes in my closet for several years. Cleaning out the closet is the first step of self-love, isn't it? At least for me. I know have hit "rock bottom" (or peak of hte scales) when the clothes that are too small are staring me in the closet first thing the morning and I have to dig through the clothes to find the 2 pair of jeans and 3 shirts that still fit. I would start my day feeling too fat, unworthy, unlovable. Taking all those clothes out of the closet and filling the closet will only things I can wear was the first step to taking back my life.
Anyway, those same clothes that used to look at me with judgement eyes are the very ones I was unpacking and putting back in said closet and I have to say I did this with some trepidation. Part of me feels like I should throw out the lot and start again. I have too many emotions about these clothes, I remember feeling bad when I was wearing them and gaining weight and I really remember not being able to wear them for months on end. But I love some of them, cute sweaters that match my eyes or a cozy long sleeve shirt with a cowl neck that has thumb holes in the hands. So I am unpacking them slowly, putting them away in small batches. I am making sure I love everything that goes back in my closet, I will find a new home for all the clothes that I don't care for anymore.
I was supposed to do a short interval run tonight, but Mike had to work late and i needed to finish laundry and pack for my trip tomorrow. I should have time both Tuesday and Wednesday to work out at the hotel, I am packing lots of workout clothes and even a swimsuit. It means I will have to try running on a treadmill again. Will report how it goes.