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The clothes are giving me those judgemental looks

Monday, February 11, 2013

So I brought up a bin of clothes from the storage room downstairs. The bin said "16" but it is really a mix of 14s and 16s that I tossed in about a year ago after not being able to wear most of the clothes in my closet for several years. Cleaning out the closet is the first step of self-love, isn't it? At least for me. I know have hit "rock bottom" (or peak of hte scales) when the clothes that are too small are staring me in the closet first thing the morning and I have to dig through the clothes to find the 2 pair of jeans and 3 shirts that still fit. I would start my day feeling too fat, unworthy, unlovable. Taking all those clothes out of the closet and filling the closet will only things I can wear was the first step to taking back my life.

Anyway, those same clothes that used to look at me with judgement eyes are the very ones I was unpacking and putting back in said closet and I have to say I did this with some trepidation. Part of me feels like I should throw out the lot and start again. I have too many emotions about these clothes, I remember feeling bad when I was wearing them and gaining weight and I really remember not being able to wear them for months on end. But I love some of them, cute sweaters that match my eyes or a cozy long sleeve shirt with a cowl neck that has thumb holes in the hands. So I am unpacking them slowly, putting them away in small batches. I am making sure I love everything that goes back in my closet, I will find a new home for all the clothes that I don't care for anymore.

I was supposed to do a short interval run tonight, but Mike had to work late and i needed to finish laundry and pack for my trip tomorrow. I should have time both Tuesday and Wednesday to work out at the hotel, I am packing lots of workout clothes and even a swimsuit. It means I will have to try running on a treadmill again. Will report how it goes.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MOMTO2HEINZS 2/12/2013 2:53PM

    I need to deal with my closet too...ugh!! You're only going to be in this size for a few months anyway, right? emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/12/2013 2:53:35 PM

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GINGERHAWK 2/12/2013 10:27AM

    I try to keep things in my closet that fit as well - it's so hard to pull out things and find that you can't get them buttoned or zipped. I think it's wonderful that you're now at a place where you're unable to pack the things that you previously put away and find the items that you love the most while donating the others - awesome! I had to hit hotel treadmills a couple of times over the weekend since we were out of town, darn I hate those things. I always get off with achey knees and feeling a bit dizzy.

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MIDROAD 2/12/2013 9:08AM

    There are a few "problems" that seem universal to all women, our clothes and our closets are one of those.
I find it very interesting the emotions that come up while sifting through ones closet.
There's the thrill of reuniting with ones "skinny" clothes and the approach / avoid conflict of what to do with what remains, sigh......

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MALEXANDER4 2/12/2013 6:48AM

    Oh how I know the feeling of having a closet full of clothes but only two or three outfits you can wear right now. I too cleaned out my closet. I have a good will box for the things I don't want anymore and then I have the box for the "i'm going to get back into that" clothes. Why do we allow the closet or the clothes to dictate how we feel about ourselves? I mean we are still beautiful just not where we want to be right now.

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KIMBERLY_Y 2/11/2013 11:11PM

    I have just been going through some of my clothes recently too. I always find that in the winter I have this need to become more organized with my closets and drawers. It gives me such a good feeling.

Have a safe trip!

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