No getting around it – on Thursday I binged. I ate WAY too much junk (FOUR doughnuts and a gooey coffee mocha to be exact) and upset my stomach. I have been doing better at not overeating due to stress – but Thursday I lapsed. I’m back on track today with a good reminder that I HAVE to vigilant and not revert to emotional eating. And do it one day at a time, with support from others and belief in a higher power that will support me, just like alcoholics anonymous!

Mom is slipping away. She has been sleeping most of the days. I am back in Oregon, but I will fly back to see her again over the weekend. The staff has been taking excellent physical care of her and is doing great with medication (she is taking palliative care only under hospice).

One thing occurred with Mom’s nursing home that really upset me and the rest of the family.

In violation of nursing home policies, mom had given out about 20 cash donations to staff; she also had about 5 sealed envelopes with cash she hadn't given yet (because those staff were off duty when she was handing out money). She told the staff she had permission to give them gifts; she did NOT have permission. Mom is on morphine and may have dreamed the whole permission thing; she is also deaf and may have misheard. My sisters collected those 5 undelivered envelopes to re-deposit the cash. All the money had been removed and the envelopes resealed. I thought we should notify management because otherwise the staff might think they can rob Mom with impunity. My siblings disagreed, because any complaint would have to be investigated with mom being interviewed (she is the victim) and she would be devastated. My sisters and brothers worry the news would trigger another heart attack (at 93 years old, mom has many illnesses including cancer and infection in her bones, but she is dying from congestive heart failure. She had three heart attacks in the past three weeks). I went along with their decision, but I still favor notifying administration of the theft. The staff needs to know that we are watching mom carefully and they can't just take stuff while she is drugged with morphine. Mom loves and trusts the staff. $500 is missing. And my niece left her expensive designer sunglasses in mom’s room last Sunday; I placed them on the chest of drawers for my sister to retrieve and they were gone by Tuesday too. We all agreed that my sister should remove any remaining cash and mom’s checkbook. Mom’s personal treasures (gold jewelry and small jade and ivory sculptures) remain in her room and are important to her.


I met my most of my February goals this past week.
1. Sleep is still a problem. I am taking medication to help me sleep due to stress. Then I take an energy drink during the day to wake up for work. I tried to cut back on both – unsuccessfully. I’ll keep trying, particularly with the energy drink.

2. I was very successful at limiting alcohol, only one glass of wine all week. I was greatly aided in achieving this goal by the fact that I HATED the drink I was served when I went out for happy hour with my friends. I ordered sangria and it tasted nothing like sangria; it was like watered down cherry cough syrup. The bartender brought another equally awful replacement drink (she had noticed me passing around the despised beverage to all my friends, and everyone’s unanimous “YUCK!”). Anyway it was easy to abstain from drinking that rotgut on my social night out!

3. I tracked all food. I did very well with healthy eating overall (with the exception of that doughnut binge on Thursday). Even then I got right back on track with healthy eating.
4. I exercised daily for 30 minutes or more. I did Zumba and a longer (6 mile) hike on the weekend.
5. I stretched 3 times


Overall a good week of staying on track!